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Song Parodies -> "Not That Fly For A Sports Guy"

Original Song Title:

"Pretty Fly For A White Guy"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Not That Fly For A Sports Guy"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Half-based on a true story. I DO suck at sport, but I don't go to such lengths to be popular...not yet anyways.
Hut, and hut, and hut, and hike now

Pass the football Tony! I can't! I can't!
Pass the football Tony! I can't! I can't!
Pass the football Tony! I can't! I can't!
And all the students say I'm
Not that fly for a sports guy

Football is hard, and the guys call me a 'tard

The folks at school they like
A big, tough guy who can play
Team ball sports really well
At least that is what they say
And so I join the team
So that I can be liked
But everytime I play
Well, I balls it up with style!

I'm terrible, at this 'baseball'
You know I will not help my team score, not at all!
You'll know I'll drop the ball, and hit the wall
And damn it hurts, it really hurts!
Ah well, so much for me being popular
But one day I will get the hang of it and then I'll score
And not just in the goal
So (Hey! Hey!) popular is win!

Pass the puck here Tony! I can't! I can't!
Pass the puck here Tony! I can't! I can't!
Pass the puck here Tony! I can't! I can't!
And all the students say I'm
Not that fly for a sports guy

I need some band-aids
Not just any will suffice
Need only Elastoplast*
'Cause that grips hard like a vice
Now I'm skating on the ice-rink
But some jock decides to pass
To me, but I suck
I'll swing and fall right on my ass!

And so I say "I am okay"
I know I'll break my neck by the end of the day
I only tried to win, and now my skin
Is black and blue, it's really bruised!
Wanted to look great, I get smashed in the face
At least my baby teeth will fall out soon at this rate!
Is popularity
Worth (Ow! Ow!) all these broken bones?

When I'm signing up for sport
The coach says "Yeah, why not?"
Well, I should've known then
'Cause my skill level ain't hot
You ask me why I still play
When I've gained these scars
I will say "Because
Our team, our team's popular!"

Go out with me, Tony! All right! All right!
Go out with me, Tony! All right! All right!
Go out with me, Tony! All right! All right!
Football is best, though I nearly broke my neck

So watch us play! I'm player eight!
You can also spot me because I cannot play
I'll run across the field, and into Neil
He's on their team, and so I scream!
So my antics cause the other team to pause
They then bash me while my teammates score and score and score!
That is our strategy (Ow!)
I'm fine with it, you see (Cause)
I gain popularity
And (Hey! Hey!) popular is win!
*No, I'm not getting paid for dropping this in...unfortunately.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Meriadoc - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Yep, I can relate. My gym teachers hated me...
Peregrin - February 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey Conq, that was really enjoyable :)
littleCupCakes - February 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Drop the team spots, and try horseback riding, Sir!
Jack Wilson - February 06, 2008 - Report this comment
This is awesome! 5s
Jeff Reuben - February 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny song, I'll keep in mind not to bet on you...even with the spread :)
syw - February 09, 2008 - Report this comment
very ... five for a sports guy. :-)
Matthias - February 10, 2008 - Report this comment
I can relate to this completely. Not the whole doing it all for popularity thing, but I'm the worst person I know when it comes to sports. This was really well crafted and funny Conquerer!
Agrimorfee - February 13, 2008 - Report this comment
Artistry--I don't get the line "popular is win", but this was very good on the whole.
Rex - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Great concept, fave line is "Is popularity worth (Ow! Ow!) all these broken bones?".
Below Average Dave - February 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) "Football is hard, and the guys call me a 'tard" is not my favorite line, though I get what you were saying, "Tard" is too close to "Turd" which is how I read it (Though being called a "Turd" is pretty funny). . .I will say however, the "Pass it to me Tony" subs were great, reminds me of the Frosted Flakes Tiger, It's Grrrreat!
Mark Scotti - June 16, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC)you may have been picked 'last", but you may be picked "first" hilarity!
Christie Marie M - June 18, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC M/N) I'm not a sports jock either, so I can relate to that. My only kind of sports are soccer, softball, and tennis. I love watching hockey but hate playing it. Maybe if I was a guy, I wouldn't mind playing hockey...or football. You don't have to be fly for a sports guy, but you're fly enough to be a 5's guy!
Abbott Skelding - June 19, 2011 - Report this comment
I go to BGSU (northwest Ohio) and when I was looking at colleges, I wanted to go to the University of Michigan...but then I realized that it was only because I wanted to be in the UofM marching band. Sure marching band isn't technically a's just as much of one as cheerleading! Anyway, nice work! Pacing was a little off in places, but nice story
Blaydeman - June 20, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I also found a few pacing snags, but otherwise, very good. You're pretty fly for a parody guy!
D-Mon - June 22, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) If you were good at sports, you may not be as good at writing parodies (of which you are very good at), and for that we thank you. :) Good job!
Below Average Dave - June 24, 2011 - Report this comment
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