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Song Parodies -> "Got a Hammer (Watch This)"

Original Song Title:

"Country Grammar (Hot Shit)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Nelly

Parody Song Title:

"Got a Hammer (Watch This)"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Watch this

Mmm, I'm slammin' down (whoo), down, buddy, 'til I fix your car motor (c'mon)
Might think I'm crazy, but (uh) I swear it's not a joke (watch this)
Lemme, lemme grab a hold of this hammer now
Rise it up and slam a ton, watch this sucker pound (mmm)
I'll bring it down, down, buddy, gonna fix your car motor (uh)
Could call me crazy, but it's gonna work, I know
Lemme, lemme take a hold of my hammer now (uh)
Rise it up (uh) then slam a ton (uh), come and watch me pound (mmm)

You can trust me, think I watched Home Improvement once
So I know tons 'bout what to do, bud, least when it comes
To fix-ups that just need a little thump
I'm the one to thump it with a chunk
Of hard metal, cause I can't take in mechanics
It's so complicated, could split my brain into four
But what's underrated, not crazy, is that I should patent
My method of neverendin' hammer bangin' (love to bang things, no innuendo)
Watch this (uh, uh, uh), swear this is gonna fix it
Gonna pound stuff until the truth is what's found
Despite what you've heard of, my method is far from wrong
Fixed up my Xbox by thwackin' it all night long (ooh yeah)
Mechanics may have the glamour, got degrees about which they blabber
My hammer is iconic, moronic to mock it
Makes harmonics so symphonic, movin' so fast like Sonic
Gonna fix your ol' Hyundai, looks like I'm breakin' it? Nah, that's bollocks (mmm)

I'm slammin' down, down, buddy (whoo), 'til I fix your damn motor (c'mon)
I may look crazy, but this ain't some crazy joke (watch this)
Lemme, lemme grab a hold of this hammer now
Rise it up and slam a ton, so easy to pound (mmm)
I'll bring it down, down, buddy, gonna fix (uh) your damn motor
They called me crazy, but all them, I'm gonna show
Lemme, lemme take a hold of my hammer now
Rise it up (uh) then slam a ton (uh), lots of things to pound (mmm)

Who says that this tool can't be a fixer? I'm fixin' okay with my fixer
No tricker, watch me go thump and you'll know that I'm fixin'
How? Friggin' don't know my shit, how the hell am I fixin'?
Good question, in fact, that's possibly the one right question
I'm guessin' some kinda magic's the reason I'm winnin'
My business, at smackin' shit 'til it works, that's my fixin'
Say now, what's that broken mess you tow now?
'Fraid I don't recognise that thing on display now
May I take a few whacks at the frame, guy?
Say, I might make a bet because you say I
Make lies, fifty dollars say that my slammin'
Will make your busted toaster or spinnin' fan or whatever that is
You down for that game now? Why won't you clamour?
Okay, you got somethin' real important that ya
Thinkin' matters, heard me say that I got a hammer
Yesterday and I whacked that until it ended up like that (mmm)?

You're lyin' now, now, buddy (whoo), cause I fixed your damn toaster (c'mon)
Your words are crazy, bud, you're tryna pull a joke (watch this)
Lemme, lemme grab a hold of this hammer now
Rise it up and slam a ton on your face, I'll pound (mmm)
Stop lyin' now, now, buddy, swear I fixed your dead toaster
Don't call me crazy cause, once more, it up and broke
Lemme, lemme take a hold of my hammer now
Rise it up (uh) then slam a ton (uh), needs another pound (mmm)

A simple fact that you're simply jealous, bud
All my money, I know you really want this
Make mad cash fixin' up ev'ry thing that gets beaten up
Folks know that they really want no stupid clever clogs
Claimin' they're really hot at all this fixin' up
Nope, they want me, a moron who out of high school dropped
Whose only job lets him vent his frustrations out on
Real shite toasters, right loathin' his lot in life, don't ya
Lie, joker, and say that what I'm sayin's a lie, joker (watch this)
I know that your face is so confused and clueless
It's true, I've messed with you, cause I thought you looked stupid
And I do exploit the clueless (holy shit, wow), that's my gig now
Can't tell all my dumb clientele now
Found out that my hammer is all a trick now
Can't spill now, not cause they'll all up and split now
They're thick now (whoo), no point convincin' them now
Sit down, watch me trick some more pure twits now (mmm)

I'm lyin' now, now, buddy (whoo), who could fix a dead toaster (c'mon)
With this? It's crazy, but that's not for them to know (watch this)
Lemme, lemme grab a hold of this hammer now
Rise it up and slam a ton, they'll buy ev'ry pound (mmm)
Still lyin' now, now, buddy, sold you back a dead toaster
But since you caught me, bud, have a whole refund, bro
Lemme, lemme take a hold of my hammer now
Rise it up then slam a ton, real shop's that way now

No, the hammer is not his penis.

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