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Song Parodies -> "History"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A young man struggles in a certain class. That's right, he's failing in P.E.! Wait...
Can't remember this crap
Day? Month? The year? None of that
If I can't recall dates
How will I pass with an A?
Of all the failure you'll see
None worse than in history
Who cares about some old guys
Their fights and their stupid lives?

Innocent victims, sad to see
But what is lame 'bout this is that
I must know the numbers, sucks for me
Can't I just write an essay how it's sad?
No? I guess you win

Ev'ry day, I fail at history
Cause my stupid brain can't take in the lists, you see
"Did the soldiers defend the quarry?"
"Yes" or "No"? Wish answers had such simplicity

My brain is gonna fall out
If I'm forced to write things down
That I have plain missed
Cause it's a very long list
This class is so dumb cause it's based
Almost completely on dates
Matchin' up names to their deeds
Kills int'rest in history

How many people up and died
When Caesar's gang of creeps went through their land?
Didn't say which Caesar, that's not right
And so I asked which one and you just gasped
Sorry, no psychic

Ev'ry day, I fail at history
No room to create, instead it's a litany
Of huge, long lists that only bore me
When the lesson ends, I shed off my misery
Ev'ry day, I fail at history (history)
No room in my brain for tales of artillery
Teacher wants real specificity (-ficity)
Sorry, I will never join in this heartily

Wish I could quit
The seventh time you've failed my course work

You've never given above "D"
Just cause I failed at this dumb task (awful is my existence)
Look, I can't remember which damn sea
Was the one crossed by Chris Columbus
They look the same to me, oh-oh

Ev'ry day, I fail at history (history)
Don't know who created the first distillery
Even if ev'ry single snore's me (each snore's me)
Doesn't change the fact that you teach this terribly (ev'ry day)
Ev'ry day, I fail at history (history) (ev'ry day)
Don't know who really first made electricity (ev'ry day)
My grasp on the facts is slippery (hence you're a jerk to me) (ev'ry day)
Cause your tone (yeah, yeah) of voice is total monotony (it's borin', so borin')

As soon as I (soon as I)
Can leave, I'll fly (can leave, I'll fly)
And I will find (I will find)
My passion elsewhere, right (it's elsewhere, right)
Cause this is shit (cause this is shit)
Prefer to try to have fun with words

I decided not to transcribe all the audio samples here. Though they would've fit the new topic, I'm trying not to make my parodies look visually tacky as I used to. Also, I'm apparently so bad at history I couldn't spell Caeser or Colombus without the aid of spell-check.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Matthias - September 30, 2018 - Report this comment
I hear you there buddy. I freaking SUCKED at history class too. I was more about art and science instead of remembering a bunch of dates.
Peter Andersson - September 30, 2018 - Report this comment
I came in with pretty low expectations, because "history" for "history" looks a bit like a cop out - BUT this one is really good, and some passages have like perfect pacing!
Stuart McArthur - October 01, 2018 - Report this comment
I too hated history. Preferred Maths even. But it grows on you with age. Appropriately. Nice job Conq - 555

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