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Song Parodies -> "Elaborate Schemes Won't Do"

Original Song Title:

"Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through"

Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"Elaborate Schemes Won't Do"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This was inspired by item number 85 on the Evil Overlord List: "I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button.""
All this planning takes forever
Twenty-one pages, and that's just for the first part
Phase one will lengthen the night, phase two will block out the sun
Who knew that taking over the world would need sev'ral charts

Align the Sacred Stones together
Sacrifice about a dozen souls to make my own strong
Mining golden nuggets to forge into a soul vessel
All this is just in case I come across a god

My patience ain't strong
The world, I want to seize it
Oh, but to tame the fires of hell
May be a bit too much to ask for, methinks

My power flows strong
This arcane magic, I can wield it
Oh, this plan's becoming a pain in the arse
This could take weeks, maybe months, it's crazy

Must plan for anything that could happen
Any contingency that may come true
Take any challenge that's made
Have ev'ry rebel town razed
I find this planning lark a bit hazing, too
I'll keep on slogging, although it drives me crazy

There's always some new magic
(There's always some new magic)
There's always some to-do
And though it has been proven that it will work
These elaborate schemes won't do
I keep on doing it, though
(I keep on doing it, though)
I'm kinda crazy, true
Sometimes I really, really wish it was crap
These elaborate schemes won't do
Won't do

Once upon a time this was easy
Once upon a time I barely had to try
And the peasants stayed in step, the rebels didn't exist
And I ruled upon the throne and ev'rything was just fine
(Ev'rything was fine)

Now it's gone tits up
(It's gone tits up)
I just cannot believe it
Now ev'ryday people attack
And just melting off their faces won't cut it

Now each day I must
(Each day I must)
Set traps to capture all these bastards
Reset them and change them, I hate this work
What forces in the universe changed this?

Remember to feed my horde of monsters
Man, they used to be content without food
Subservient drones
They were all pretty much clones
Now they have got a union and a lunch room
It was so simple, now ev'rything is changing

There's always some new magic
(There's always some new magic)
There's some new rebel group
And then some dragon turns my face into toast
These elaborate schemes must do
A brand new Stone of Power
(A brand new Stone of Power)
Or similar to-do
Sometimes I really think it is all a joke
These elaborate schemes will do
They'll do


Defending my two towers
These elaborate schemes will do
The rebels will soon cower
These elaborate schemes will do
My dragon needs a shower
These elaborate schemes will do
This potion needs a flower
These elaborate schemes will do
My tone may seem too sour
These elaborate schemes will do
Establishing my power
These elaborate schemes will do
For your enjoyment, I leave you this:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - March 15, 2012 - Report this comment
I guess it was only a matter of time before those darn monsters unionized!
Agrimorfee - March 22, 2012 - Report this comment
A simple idea, overblown to its extremes...which is highly appropriate for a Meatloaf parody. I hate to think what an underwritten Meatloaf parody would be like (hopefully none in this Artistry round)!
Mark Scotti - March 24, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I send 555 minions to support your cause...LOL
Matthias - April 03, 2012 - Report this comment
This reminds me of the kind of crap a Power Rangers villain or a bad guy from goofy comic books (a bizarre Batman villain perhaps :P) would go through in order to capture the bad guy. Only to see it blow up in his face of course!
Rex - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) So, um...just where can I get one of those Evil Overlord Lists? I need to start checking things off. This reminds me of the scene in Austin Powers where Doctor Evil is setting up an elaborate scheme to kill Austin while his son is saying "Just shoot him!" Enjoyed this!
Below Average Dave - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
See agri
Blaydeman - April 06, 2012 - Report this comment
(Artistry) It's always fun to write about normal things being blown out of proportion. Lots of fun!

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