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Song Parodies -> "Lazy Knights"

Original Song Title:

"Ray of Light"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Madonna

Parody Song Title:

"Lazy Knights"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Imagine if King Arthur or some other schmuck in charge of a group knights decides to single out the worst kind at their performance evaluation...in song! Enjoy!
I've seen many knights who trip and blunde-er
Some knights who rush into battle like a dunce
But of all of the kinds of knights I've dealt wi-ith
The type I hate the most are the lazy o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ones

They've no zea-eal, those knights who stay home
They've no zea-eal
What's the dea-eal? Why do they stay ho-ome?
What's the dea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-eal?

I can deal with greedy knights declini-ing
To share dragon's treasure with their fellow man
I can handle the more violent transgre-essions
Even then at least they're getting something do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-one

What's the dea-eal with the lazy schmoes?
What's the dea-eal?
They lack zea-eal, no fan of these do-opes
They lack zea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-eal

Won't react to any plights
Bet their swords haven't seen light
I can't stand these lazy kni-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ights

I've had knights that balk at hints of thunde-er
Knights who think that puppy-kicking is great fun
But the best way to get right on my shit li-ist
Is to waste your armour lounging on your bu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-um
Where's your zea-eal?

How can you be lazy, knights?
You too-ook the oath to always be there
With sword, shield and spea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ear
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

The village is under a-a curse
And I shouldn't have to co-oerce
You to help before it ge-ets wo-orse
You lack zea-eal
You need zea-eal
You can't dea-eal damage while at ho-ome
Where's your zea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea-eal, ah

Once was like you, no past I'm deny-yi-ing
No longer a lazy knight, ge-et knighting

I apologise if anyone was expecting any Arthurian references from my opening spiel, that wasn't what I had in mind when writing this. I simply used the idea of King Arthur to get across what sort of kaniggits I was talking about.

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Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

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Rob Arndt - July 28, 2015 - Report this comment
FYI: First true Knights were Roman Cataphracts used in Brittania against the Saxons invading by sea in First Century AD. They had total chainmail armor for themselves and their horses and wore a modified helmet with armored face mask. Main weapon was a copy of German sword, not a gladius. Carried huge lances to force Saxons back to sea. Archers used flaming arrows to hit their ships and also tried flaming pigs! The popular image of the 16th century Italian and German knights are false. Romans preceded them by 15 centuries!

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