There's a new tooth pattern in my favorite shoes
Little bits of paper that once held the morning news
Claw marks in the carpet, puddle on the floor
It's enough for this tired working man, can't take any more

Dear, did you feed the dog last night?
Something tells me not
There's a mess from a hungry Labrador
That you went and bought
You should have fed the dog last night
Cause he's your dumb pet
It's enough that I clean the crappy yard
And take him to the vet

I wanted a guinea pig, sitting in my palm
Or a tank of tropical fish, colorful and calm
There's a snake or rabbit that could use a home
Hear the howl of this ill-fed carnivore, who can't get a bone

Dear, did you feed the dog last night?
Something tells me not
There's a mess from a hungry Labrador
That you went and bought
You should have fed the dog last night
Cause he's your dumb pet
It's enough that I clean the crappy yard
And take him to the vet