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Song Parodies -> "Unopened Cases"

Original Song Title:

"Wide Open Spaces"

Original Performer:

Dixie Chicks

Parody Song Title:

"Unopened Cases"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

Where do you go when your bottle runs out?
Who's opened the fridge, only to strike out?
You need a can full of beer all your own
A case in the basement of your home

One drink goes down and many will follow
A young man's dream: something to swallow
He pulls a can from the inside the chest
And what it holds for him, is Milwaukee's Best

He needs unopened cases
Help forget all his mistakes
He needs new chasers
He checks the freshness date

He opened his beer and he smiled
Wide-mouthed and glistening, he was inspired
So now he tilts his beer can back facing west
And he won't stop chugging till there's none left

He needs unopened cases
Help forget all his mistakes
He needs new chasers
He checks the freshness date

When he asks for beer, his dad yells, "Check the fridge!"
Mom calls from the kitchen and says, "You dribbled a smidge"
She says, It didn't seem like that long ago
When her own folks told her she drank too slow

He needs unopened cases
Help forget all his mistakes
He needs new chasers
He checks the freshness date

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Royce Miller - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
A really good parody Jeff, by one of my (holding my nose) favorite groups!
Royce Miller - October 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Jeff, I mean the original song is by one of my most (unfavorite) groups...your parody is great
Jeff Reuben - November 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Royce...were they one of your most unfavorite groups before or after their Bush comments? =)
royce miller - November 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Jeff--to answer your question, I think the girls are talented musicians; I didn't like their in your face attitudes after the Bush thing; their attitudes bothered me even more than any comments that were made about Bush--they were on the street corner playing their music before they made it big, and I think some of that humility would have served them well after they made it big---
Paul Robinson - January 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Jeff Reuben - Hadn't checked out much of your stuff before (if any). A great job on this one and for some reason it hasn't been voted on very much. Surely people know the Original song (would you stop calling me "Shirley"? bah-dah-bing). As to Natalie Maines's remarks about bush, well you couldn't say enough bad things about that SOB as far as I'm concerned. If you think that's disrespectful I would ask you what Mr. Bush has ever done to EARN anyone's respect. Office of the President? Don't mean squat...Check out how the British Parliament lay into their PM in "Q&A" or whatever they actually call it. We don't have "Monarchs" so I don't see the need for curtsying, cow-towing or genuflecting to these ELECTED officials (supposed to govern with the consent of the people...I recall reading that SOMEWHERE, I think)...Hey, folks, remember, America,?? FREE SPEECH??? applies to non-Republicans, too, ya' know...and don't dare accuse me of treason, that's crap and I will NOT take it. I'm not advocating any violence, but election time is coming up and it IS time to speak out if you don't buy the current crapola. That means it's time for the people to start asking "w" for some real answers and not the lies, pap, and distortion he's used to feeding us. I'm sorry if this bothers anyone, but a lot of folks, Americans and other PEOPLE (as in HUMAN BEINGS) are dying and being dismembered, scarred and generally f*cked over by this reckless man's actions. If he has not been telling the truth (and I do not believe he has) then he's got a lot of accounting to do, and I doubt he will ever do it. Royce, the Dixie Chicks EARNED their careers by playing on Street Corners, nothing dishonest or unseemly about that that I can see. Check out Mr. Bush's resume & REAL accomplishments (if you can find any) and tell me what exactly he has "EARNED" in his life. Sorry, but "Boy George" really sticks in my craw. He and his whole demented crew are really screwing up this country royally. The end goal seems to be a South-American like Oligarchy. Rich folks behind fortress walls and peons to stay poor and serve them, as needed. Not my preferred "vision" for America, thank you. (Oh, Boo-hoo, bad-bad - "class-warfare - give me a BREAK). Why not ask Mr. Bush to serve up a little real humility once in a while instead of prancing on Aircraft carriers and challenging idiotic fanatics to "Bring It On", when he's not going to anywhere close to where they might actually be "Bringing It On" to.
Agrimorfee - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Clever tune, Jeff (though I can't see how a veteran beer drinker would take the time to look at the freshness dated!. :))
Phil Alexander - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheers! Hic! &-)
Jeff Reuben - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
True Ag...and if I mentioned anything about the freshness date, three refs would throw yellow flags at me, make bad football penalty puns, and replace my beer with a Miller Lite.
Johnny D - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good parody...I'm tired of politics...let's have a beer!
Rick D - November 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I like beer parodies... despite whatever cracks I've made in the past--just can't drink the stuff anymore
Paul Robinson - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Peregrin - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Much much better than the original. Paul, interesting coment directly above mine, you are a man of few words!
Paul Robinson - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
{ABC "U") Wow, Per, thanks for pointing that out. I didn't say anything bad in that one, I promise! I don't know what happened to my remark. I believe I said that the pacing was wonderful and I gave it all 5's. If I didn't, well then I'm saying it now. Nice job, Jeff. Hmmm..." of few words"...yeah, right...that'll be the day...
Meriadoc - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Sounds like this must have been the prequel to "I've Got to Pee Now...." ;-)
neminem - November 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I didn't even know who did the original... I only know the song because I have an a capella version on my computer, which I'm currently listening to :-). Anyway, this was a great one... I'm 5ing it.
John - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Passed the laugh out loud test. Good beer parody, even though I like the original song too. I like humorous beer songs in general, though truth be told, I am something of a beer-snob myself--I'd never be caught dead drinking a single "Milwaukee's Best", much less a case of it ;-) **shudder** (I prefer US microbrews, Shiner Bock, and nearly any import brew from Germany, Ireland, Mexico, the Czech Republic, or Great Britain.) "I like beer, BEER, it makes me a jolly good fellow... ...I like beer, it helps me unwind, and sometimes it turns my pee yellow..."
Jeff Reuben - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks John, I'm usually not caught drinking a single Milwaukee's Best either, but only because it's meant to be drunk in mass quantities. If I'm only drinking one, I'll go with Labatt or something =)

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