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Song Parodies -> "My Name's James Bond"

Original Song Title:

"What a Girl Wants"

Original Performer:

Christina Aguilera

Parody Song Title:

"My Name's James Bond"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I think the title's self-explanatory. Just a warning: this is me doing a general tribute to a film series I've never seen, so I've probably conflated some films here and there.
My name's James Bond, what do you need?
My name's James Bond, watch out for me
Yeah, c'mon
Ooh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Uh-uh yeah

License to kill you-ou and I'll do it easily-y
Walther co-ocked, give the info-o straight to me-e
If you can't give me pleasu-ure, oh
I'll just blow your brains ou-ou-ou-out, yeah, yeah
Martini shaken and never sti-irred
While takin' down threats to the who-ole da-a-amn world
Foilin' plans, kickin' ass
Without a single crease in my suit pants

My name's James Bond (yeah, yeah), what do you need (yeah, yeah)?
The greatest spy the wo-orld ha-as ever seen
I've been doin' this since the early sixties
My name's James Bond, watch out for me
If you're a villain cau-ausin' harm
I'll be killin' you, followed by a quip, see (like if your)
Oh-oh-oh (head gets knocked off) yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
"You said a little off the top"

I'll beat the livin' daylights out of all your moo-ooks (yeah, yeah)
Won't live to die another day, it's true
Bet the world is not enough fo-or, mmm
You and I e-expe-e-ect, you-ou-ou-ou'll
Leave me to die, but that's a big no-o (huge no-no)
I'll escape, can't live and let die, you kno-o-ow
You're in deep trouble, for sure (oh-oh-oh-oh)
Guess we'll see if you only live twice or drop flat

My name's James Bond (yeah, yeah), what do you need (yeah, yeah)?
The greatest spy the wo-orld ha-as ever seen
Even if I make detours for the ladies
My name's James Bond, watch out for me (watch for me-e-e-e-e)
Wanna threaten countrie-ies with bombs?
You'll find they're defused, you kitty-stroki-i-in' frea-ea-eak, yeah-eah

My name's James Bond, here if you need
Someone who's great at espionage and bei-in' rea-eal coo-oo-oo-ool
My name's James Bond (yeah, oh yeah), watch out for me (you don't want)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh yeah (to piss me off)
My name's James Bond (and I'm with), what do you need (MI6)?
I'm packin' lots of stuff from Q
Always loaded fo-or bear (fo-or bear)
Pure death wra-apped up i-in a sui-uit
Ooh-hoo, a sui-uit, a sui-uit, a sui-ui-ui-ui-ui-ui-ui-ui-ui-ui-uit
Ooh-ooh-ooh oh-oh, i-it doe-oesn't ma-atter who is playin' me, yeah yeah-eah
I'm still James Bond, Sean Connery (ooh ooh)
Timothy Dalton, Ro-oger Moore
Pierce Brosnan or Danie-iel Craig, even George La-azenby

My name's James Bond, what do you need (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)?
The greatest spy the wo-orld ha-as ever seen (oh, best spy in hist'ry)
On her Majesty's Secret Service, that's me (if you're doin' wro-ong, in comes me)
My name's James Bond, watch out for me (Bond, James Bo-o-ond, kickin' douche bu-u-ut, yeah, yeah)
No type of villain I can't stop (ma-ad scientists, crooked bus'ness folk)
Helps they keep tellin' their plans to me (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
My name's James Bond (Bond, James Bond), what do you need (no threat too-oo-oo large)?
The greatest spy the wo-orld ha-as ever seen (no-one tops, heh-heh, this sexy one)
I'll never let down people who are in need (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Globe tro-o-otter (James Bond), world sa-a-aver (that's me)
I-It's true, cau-ause you know that I'll ge-et the job done
Not stealthily (because that's just not me) oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah-eah yeah
Over 50 years, I've been doin' this thing (ooh-ah-ah)

Fun fact: Eddie Izzard did a bit on Bond's gadgets where he imagines a scenario involving an agent of SMERSH, which I originally though was Izzard being his general silly self. Nope! Turns out SMERSH is a villainous organisation that the films either removed or changed to SPECTRE (which only showed up in the ninth book because Fleming was worried that Soviet villains would become dated). The more you know, I guess.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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User Comments

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Mister No - July 25, 2016 - Report this comment
You haven't seen a series with 24 films spanning 53 years??? Rate you Double O- Zero or 000. No rating.
Casual observer - July 25, 2016 - Report this comment
^ TCOP is a self-admitted lazy Aussie slacker and he's also very rude and doesn't answer comments on his threads. Rather, he waits and then goes under Bobpiecheese to vote fivers for his three chums. Don't waste your time here.
Reginald Cummings - July 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Don't forget about Connery's other Bond and that old Woody Allen one.

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