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Song Parodies -> "Achievements"

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The Lyrics

Video game achievements. Pointless, annoying and sometimes arbitrary, but dammit don't most of us have an innate need to collect them all. Enjoy!
"Beat the game wi-ith no-o lost li-ives"
"Die twenty-four ti-imes to spikes"
It's my tenth playthrough
Still ain't got all of you-ou-ou
Both of my-y-y thumbs are blee-eedin'
Still fa-a-ar from succee-eedin'
Collect them a-all or some such bunk
I need another Re-ed Bull shot, oh-oh

Gettin' achie-ievements isn't much fun
Some are gotten just playi-in' the ga-ame
But most of them come from tasks that just blo-ow
All these achie-ievements sappin' my fun
"Aren't they optional?" I hea-ear you sa-ay
They are but I'm a completion nut, so-o

Gamerscore is poi-ointless, true-ue
But I feel that I-I have to
And I can't just hack
I'm better than tha-a-a-at
All the ti-i-i-ime restri-ictions
And the bo-o-o-onus mi-issions
I'll make the ti-ime to see them through
Then put the next game i-in, I'm screwed, oh-oh

Gettin' achie-ievements isn't much fun
Sometimes I can work on o-one all da-ay
The requ-irements have to be just so-o
Sometimes achie-ievements can be quite fun
Certain number of headsho-ots, it's grea-eat
They're not the rule, they're the exception, thou-ough

And what blo-ows the most about thi-is
Are all tho-ose onli-ine-based o-o-o-ones
I may be a giant dork
I-I don't pla-ay online, that sco-o-o-ore
I-I-Is barred to me, I abhor
That, it's a point that's rather so-o-o-ore

Gettin' achie-ievements isn't much fun
I don't have the cash for o-online pla-ay
This gamin' stuff's just a hobby, bucko-o
Gettin' achie-ievements isn't much fun
True that when they're done it doe-oes feel grea-eat
The time it takes to get there just sucks, thou-ough
But still, achie-ievements are what I want
"You're just wastin' time" I hea-ear you sa-ay
I'm well aware of that, I'm not dumb, so-o
All these achie-ievements are like a taunt
Can't back down from any da-are, no wa-ay
The challenge is what makes games so fun, so-o

Seriously though, I hate achievements based in online play, like winning a certain amount of matches. They're just a permanent gap in my achievement list. Bah.

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Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 12

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 5   4

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Jonathan - October 05, 2015 - Report this comment
I'm not much of a gamer but my brother is and he'll often keep playing a game trying to unlock all the achievements! 5's

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