I never thought the PS2
Would guide my missiles to Timbuktu
But there illegal in Iraq,
So I sent troops to bring some back
They took some time, but hurried up,
I guess the PS1 is good enough
I'm too insane to go on
I swear I'm not hiding any bombs

I never conquered Greece or spain
Hitler was way better at this game
My clones insure I stay alive,
It still isn't safe to go outside
The rumor's wide, too late to hide
When this is over, I'll survive
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time with my nuclear bomb

I know that I won't die alone
Order 6 more bodyguards on the phone
Give machine guns, to all my friends,
In a few minutes everyone else is dead.
I'll hide my plans, and hide my stuff,
It's almost time to pour the cup
Of cyanide, in the sea
Please tell mom not to have a drink

I never conquered United States,
But tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still rule their lives,
One day it will be safe to go outside
The world is wide, easy to hide,
I dont think anyone will survive
I can't wait till I get home
To find they've finally tapped my phone.