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Song Parodies -> "Nonexistence"

Original Song Title:

"From a Distance"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Bette Midler

Parody Song Title:

"Nonexistence"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Of all the concepts that are tricky to get your head around, none are as baffling as nothingness itself. Is that ironic? I honestly don't know.
Nonexistence with nothing you can see
Not that you'd have any eyes
Nonexistence, there's no-one there to be
No more "you" and no more "I"

Nonexistence, empty agony
But no echo to be had
It's a void, you know, in a void, can't see
It's a void, it's blank as crap

Nonexistence, hard to say it sucks
Because you cannot feel
Good or bad because there is nothing there that's real
Causes my brain to peel

Nonexistence, can't get into it
Concept made to drive you mad
Hard to really know what it's like to be
No longer here or there, so sad

You have zero thoughts, sad or happy thoughts
Even horny thoughts, nonexistence

Nonexistence, doesn't have an end
That scares me right to my core
Nonexistence, I just cannot comprehend
How nothing could be in store

Nonexistence, pure monotony
Won't experience it, man
Because you're nothing, so it does not quite suck
Circles I talk in are sad (really sad)
None can really know what it's like to just
Not exist anymore, sounds mad

It's not something to scoff at, senses turned off
Not even a cough, nonexistence (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Oh, you'll have zero thoughts, brain feels nothing
Even empty thoughts, nonexistence

"I...I've always just been baffled by why people find this song uplifting, why it meant so much to people back then. I've only ever found it horrifying. There's nothing in there about God loving us or caring about us or even knowing about us. They may as well name the song "God Is Deeply Uninformed of Your Current Situation."" - Todd in the Shadows

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   16
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

? - October 18, 2022 - Report this comment
Non-existent poopoody (parody)
Zen Adam B. - October 19, 2022 - Report this comment
Are you familiar with Alan Watts? I think he's the best source on this question.
bobpiecheese - October 19, 2022 - Report this comment
That I am not, Sir ZAB, though after a quick Google I now know we are on two different tracks on nothingness, as I was more referring to a literal void rather than a state of mind. Still, now I know who Alan Watts is, that's not nothing (hehe).

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