He whores, but it's legal;
Wants your booty stash.
That might mean your money, yeah-ah.
Likes high-rising taxes;
He invented the internet--
And lost, but almost won--maybe.

Now, what it all comes down to
Is the difference between what's mine and thine,
'Cause he's got one hand in your pocket,
And he's tryin' to log in to your... laptop.

He's quite stuffed with odd papers,
But he did not screw with them;
At least, we sure hope not, yeah-ah!
He's lazy, but reckless;
Got caught, but he got away.
He uses his cigars... strangely!

And what it all comes down to
Is that something here isn't really quite all right.
'Cause he's got one hand in your pocket,
And the other one is stuffing things down his pants.

And what it all comes down to
Is that he still hasn't got his cigar out just yet,
'Cause he's got one hand in your pocket,
And the other one is grabbing your... assets.

His deal was unfocused;
His deal was unwise;
His ethics are doubtful, maybe.
They're mad 'cause they're laughing;
They're "brave" 'cause they're hypocrites;
They're pricks without a clue, baby!

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's got the scandal figured out just yet,
But he's got one hand in your pocket,
And the other one making a shady land deal.

And what it all comes down to, my friends, yeah,
Is that all the leftards do is whine, whine, whine!
Still, they've got one hand in your pocket,
And the other one is stroking your... taxables.