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Song Parodies -> "Rarest Blood of All"

Original Song Title:

"Greatest Love of All"

Original Performer:

Whitney Houston

Parody Song Title:

"Rarest Blood of All"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Dude's got a rare blood type. Therefore: a quest!
Whether it's a small leak from a suture
Or a giant smear on the highway
When I see blood a-all I feel is bad inside
That doesn't mean sick, mind, I don't get queasier
I just see a wa-aste of what could never ever save me
My chances of transfusion are zero
The doctors always look so co-onfused
Cause the blood I have flowing through me constantly
It isn't A-A or B
It's some new ty-ype that they've never seen

I'm not gonna give up though
I'll take a journey across the-e who-ole globe
Until what's running in me
Is found within anothe-er, plea-ease
Amongst the liquo-uor and caffeine
They keep saying what's inside o-of me

Might be the ra-are-est blood of all
What's in my-y arteries
Could be the-e ra-are-est blood of all
Inside of me
The ra-are-est bloo-ood of a-a-a-all
It kinda-a sucks for me
No sampl-les on the shelf
Of what's the ra-arest blood o-of all

From fancy-ass mansions to the sewers
Yet to find someone who's blood's the same
The strange looks I get can fill a scrapbook twice
My desperation might make me seem creepier
But I really nee-eed to learn why my blood's a ra-arity

Why won't doctors let me know
Why they all shake and mutter wo-ords li-ike so?
It's not like my blood is green
Or purple, black or see-throu-ough, geez
Why can't I fi-ind a donor? Please
Someone just explain what's wrong wi-ith me

I've got the ra-are-est blood of all
What's in my-y arterie-ie-ies
Might be the-e ra-are-est blood of all
Inside of me
The ra-are-est bloo-ood of all
It really sucks for me
No-one's a-able to help
With what's the ra-arest blood o-of all

The test re-esults are all the same
"Some sort o-of oil-like stuff"
Has to-o be-e nonsense, a-a-a fake
Can't be-e a robo-ot

Here's where I would put some sort of reference to Cylons...if I had any material other than "Cylons exist". Yeah, I haven't seen anything Battlestar Galactica related, sorry.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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🐱 - April 13, 2016 - Report this comment
I know you won't reply to this; even though you have enabled comments. Where do you have the time to belt out so many parodies a day? I know who you are, you are bobpiecheese.
Rob Arndt - April 13, 2016 - Report this comment
According to the American Red Cross AB(-) is the rarest blood type, not Rh(-). Second, the Cylons had unknown Type O blood as the Colonials all had types A and B. Third, Nazi Germany invented synthetic blood and plasma in WW2 (Capain and Periston). They were used by the SS and Waffen SS. FYI
bobpiecheese - April 13, 2016 - Report this comment
To Kitty: I have the time because I have no job and no social life. And I'm kinda slack when it comes to video games. To Rob: Fascinating info!
Rob Arndt - April 13, 2016 - Report this comment
NP TCOP. Btw, by Cylon I am of course referring to the "skin job" replicants ;-)

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