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Song Parodies -> "You'd Better Go Hide Your Gut"
Original Song Title:
"Another One Bites The Dust"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Queen
Parody Song Title:
"You'd Better Go Hide Your Gut"
Parody Written by:
Cat
The Lyrics
Another One Bites The Dust, and the "fat" parody. Might as well get two obligatories out of the way at once.
Fat...must go!
Swimsuit season is coming soon
And you look quite like an ape
But chest hair ain't the subject here
You're just in terrible shape
People staring? (Yeah!) Does your weight make 'em pissed?
Are they gagging at the sight of your meat?
Listen to me, 'fore you start to strip...
Better pull off this feat, yeah!
You'd better go hide your gut!
Just look at how far it juts!
And your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat
You'd better go hide your gut!
Hey--you measure 82"*
It's clear that you eat a glut!
How'd you think you'll mimic Hasselhoff
With blubber swishing 'round?
You'd be very wealthy if someone paid
A buck for each of your pounds!
Since you're heavy--hence, unsatisfied
And health food you just won't eat
Gym you won't go to, can't do a flip!
So you might as well cheat...suck in!
You'd better go hide your gut!
(Or wait, maybe that's your butt?)
And the mass of your thighs makes the ocean tide rise
It's putting you in a rut!
Hey--just like a kangaroo
A kid could fit in that gut!
Hey! Go fake it! Hide your gut! Hide your gut!
You'd better go hide your gut!
Your armchair just bit the dust! (crunch!)
It's bigger than Parton's bust! (oh my!)
You're sinking despite your thrusts! (Just like a whaa-aaa-aaaa-aaaale!)
Don't...bulge out!
There are plenty of ways you can disguise your girth
Though there is always pain
Sick of squeezin' and a-wheezin' in that girdle? (Sure!)
Try a corset--feel the strain!
But with pinching, in a Speedo you'll fit
As long as you can see your feet
You'll be just fine when you take a dip
Contracted and in pain...but petite!
You'd better go hide your gut!
Your flabby waistline won't jut!
And although you can't breathe, other folks will perceive
That you're not obese, you're cut!
Hey--you'll be a pleasant view
If you'll just go hide that gut!
Thin out!
Swimsuit season is coming soon
And you look quite like an ape
But chest hair ain't the subject here
You're just in terrible shape
People staring? (Yeah!) Does your weight make 'em pissed?
Are they gagging at the sight of your meat?
Listen to me, 'fore you start to strip...
Better pull off this feat, yeah!
You'd better go hide your gut!
Just look at how far it juts!
And your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat
You'd better go hide your gut!
Hey--you measure 82"*
It's clear that you eat a glut!
How'd you think you'll mimic Hasselhoff
With blubber swishing 'round?
You'd be very wealthy if someone paid
A buck for each of your pounds!
Since you're heavy--hence, unsatisfied
And health food you just won't eat
Gym you won't go to, can't do a flip!
So you might as well cheat...suck in!
You'd better go hide your gut!
(Or wait, maybe that's your butt?)
And the mass of your thighs makes the ocean tide rise
It's putting you in a rut!
Hey--just like a kangaroo
A kid could fit in that gut!
Hey! Go fake it! Hide your gut! Hide your gut!
You'd better go hide your gut!
Your armchair just bit the dust! (crunch!)
It's bigger than Parton's bust! (oh my!)
You're sinking despite your thrusts! (Just like a whaa-aaa-aaaa-aaaale!)
Don't...bulge out!
There are plenty of ways you can disguise your girth
Though there is always pain
Sick of squeezin' and a-wheezin' in that girdle? (Sure!)
Try a corset--feel the strain!
But with pinching, in a Speedo you'll fit
As long as you can see your feet
You'll be just fine when you take a dip
Contracted and in pain...but petite!
You'd better go hide your gut!
Your flabby waistline won't jut!
And although you can't breathe, other folks will perceive
That you're not obese, you're cut!
Hey--you'll be a pleasant view
If you'll just go hide that gut!
Thin out!
*82" = a little under seven feet. That makes for a diameter of 26 inches, or more than two feet across! (And for our metric folk, that's a circumference of 2.1 meters, and a diameter of .66 meters!)
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Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 17 | 18 | 18 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Loved it! 5s
Another one hurts my gut
Excellent work, Cat. Lotsa funny lines, but "your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat" stood out, so to speak.
This parody was Phat. 555
Three fat fives. I esp liked the "jiggling fat..." line.
And we were being told Global Warming is making the ocean tide rise. :-) 555
(SOTM) Heavily(!) funny, with lots of risky ryhmes and changing of choruses..., plus changing Freddie's ad libs (which I think is must for any Queen parody). You are quite the expert at rising above expectations.
This parody was really Heavy
SOTM-The 1 voter must've been obese.
(SOTM) I I wasn't so grossly obese, I'd jump for joy at this, Cat. Another bullseye for our young wunderkind. 555+
Superb - you could always follow it up with a Beatles parody: "You've got to hide your gut away"
(SOTM) Fantastic effort Cat! I agree with Phil's comment!
(SOTM) This month sux. . .I've given 3 parodies As or Bs already and now this one too. . .last month had nearly twice as many entries, and it was much easier than this one, excellent parody here, I'd say it's in my top 5, but at the rate this particular contest is going, I don't know, but if it's not, any other month it would be. Excellent parody.
SOTM - One can always count on women writing parodies like this inbetween Christmas and spring... :-)
SOTM- I LOVE FAT PARODIES! 5-5-5
The "look like quite an ape" line had me laughing pretty hard. Well done!
SOTM - I will definitely have to parody this OS someday. Who's up for "Armada Looks Like a Bus?" (it's a Nissan SUV - oh noes, another WBMJ car parody?!). Maybe...
(SOTM) if they could harness the energy of your imagination Cat, they could air-condition the Sahara - favourite line: "And your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat" - great image - 555
SOTM - It is possible to swim in a girdle! Corset hurts a lot though. Wonderfully weighty subject matter.
boy can i identify with this, which makes it a bouncing 555 for you
(SOTM) I resemble those remarks! 5's anyway!
See above!
(ABC) More of the same!
(ABC) See above - HEY - you're staring at my gut! Well, I'm WORKING ON IT - it just takes a little longer, because I'm "MIDDLE-AGED MAN" (AHHH!!!)!
(ABC3-Y) Here's three fat fives for you. 555
Just who are you calling fat little missy!! I'd like you to know that I'm Rubenesque... Ruben Studdard that is
(ABC3Y) brilliant - love it - see above, and my second favourite line, not because it's that funny, but because it just seems to sub SO perfectly is "How'd you think you'll mimic Hasselhoff"
Yep, I hear obesity is quite a problem for you Americans (lol). This one weighed 555 kilos!
ABC...funny stuff, Cat...I'm glad this comp brought it to my attention...
ABC- No need to trim the fat here. Very good work, Cat!
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