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Song Parodies -> "You'd Better Go Hide Your Gut"

Original Song Title:

"Another One Bites The Dust"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"You'd Better Go Hide Your Gut"

Parody Written by:

Cat

The Lyrics

Another One Bites The Dust, and the "fat" parody. Might as well get two obligatories out of the way at once.
Fat...must go!

Swimsuit season is coming soon
And you look quite like an ape
But chest hair ain't the subject here
You're just in terrible shape

People staring? (Yeah!) Does your weight make 'em pissed?
Are they gagging at the sight of your meat?
Listen to me, 'fore you start to strip...
Better pull off this feat, yeah!

You'd better go hide your gut!
Just look at how far it juts!
And your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat
You'd better go hide your gut!
Hey--you measure 82"*
It's clear that you eat a glut!

How'd you think you'll mimic Hasselhoff
With blubber swishing 'round?
You'd be very wealthy if someone paid
A buck for each of your pounds!

Since you're heavy--hence, unsatisfied
And health food you just won't eat
Gym you won't go to, can't do a flip!
So you might as well cheat...suck in!

You'd better go hide your gut!
(Or wait, maybe that's your butt?)
And the mass of your thighs makes the ocean tide rise
It's putting you in a rut!
Hey--just like a kangaroo
A kid could fit in that gut!

Hey! Go fake it! Hide your gut! Hide your gut!

You'd better go hide your gut!
Your armchair just bit the dust! (crunch!)
It's bigger than Parton's bust! (oh my!)
You're sinking despite your thrusts! (Just like a whaa-aaa-aaaa-aaaale!)
Don't...bulge out!

There are plenty of ways you can disguise your girth
Though there is always pain
Sick of squeezin' and a-wheezin' in that girdle? (Sure!)
Try a corset--feel the strain!

But with pinching, in a Speedo you'll fit
As long as you can see your feet
You'll be just fine when you take a dip
Contracted and in pain...but petite!

You'd better go hide your gut!
Your flabby waistline won't jut!
And although you can't breathe, other folks will perceive
That you're not obese, you're cut!
Hey--you'll be a pleasant view
If you'll just go hide that gut!

Thin out!
*82" = a little under seven feet. That makes for a diameter of 26 inches, or more than two feet across! (And for our metric folk, that's a circumference of 2.1 meters, and a diameter of .66 meters!)

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   17
 18
 18
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - February 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it! 5s
Ann Hammond - February 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Another one hurts my gut
Red Ant - February 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent work, Cat. Lotsa funny lines, but "your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat" stood out, so to speak.
crazy8snake - February 25, 2007 - Report this comment
This parody was Phat. 555
PMS - February 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Three fat fives. I esp liked the "jiggling fat..." line.
Wolverine - March 09, 2007 - Report this comment
And we were being told Global Warming is making the ocean tide rise. :-) 555
Agrimorfee - March 09, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Heavily(!) funny, with lots of risky ryhmes and changing of choruses..., plus changing Freddie's ad libs (which I think is must for any Queen parody). You are quite the expert at rising above expectations.
Matthias - March 10, 2007 - Report this comment
This parody was really Heavy
Max Power - March 11, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM-The 1 voter must've been obese.
Kristof Robertson - March 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I I wasn't so grossly obese, I'd jump for joy at this, Cat. Another bullseye for our young wunderkind. 555+
Phil Alexander - March 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Superb - you could always follow it up with a Beatles parody: "You've got to hide your gut away"
Jason - March 13, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Fantastic effort Cat! I agree with Phil's comment!
Below Average Dave - March 14, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This month sux. . .I've given 3 parodies As or Bs already and now this one too. . .last month had nearly twice as many entries, and it was much easier than this one, excellent parody here, I'd say it's in my top 5, but at the rate this particular contest is going, I don't know, but if it's not, any other month it would be. Excellent parody.
Peter Andersson - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - One can always count on women writing parodies like this inbetween Christmas and spring... :-)
The Charnstare - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- I LOVE FAT PARODIES! 5-5-5
Jeff Reuben - March 21, 2007 - Report this comment
The "look like quite an ape" line had me laughing pretty hard. Well done!
wannabemustangjockey - March 22, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - I will definitely have to parody this OS someday. Who's up for "Armada Looks Like a Bus?" (it's a Nissan SUV - oh noes, another WBMJ car parody?!). Maybe...
Stuart McArthur - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) if they could harness the energy of your imagination Cat, they could air-condition the Sahara - favourite line: "And your jiggling fat's making shade for my cat" - great image - 555
Tim Mayfield - March 29, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - It is possible to swim in a girdle! Corset hurts a lot though. Wonderfully weighty subject matter.
tomario - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
boy can i identify with this, which makes it a bouncing 555 for you
Johnny D - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I resemble those remarks! 5's anyway!
Jack Wilson - March 31, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
Agrimorfee - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) More of the same!
Johnny D - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above - HEY - you're staring at my gut! Well, I'm WORKING ON IT - it just takes a little longer, because I'm "MIDDLE-AGED MAN" (AHHH!!!)!
Rick C - June 03, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-Y) Here's three fat fives for you. 555
Matthias - June 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Just who are you calling fat little missy!! I'd like you to know that I'm Rubenesque... Ruben Studdard that is
stuart mcarthur - June 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3Y) brilliant - love it - see above, and my second favourite line, not because it's that funny, but because it just seems to sub SO perfectly is "How'd you think you'll mimic Hasselhoff"
Michael McVey - June 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Yep, I hear obesity is quite a problem for you Americans (lol). This one weighed 555 kilos!
Arwen - June 10, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC...funny stuff, Cat...I'm glad this comp brought it to my attention...
Mikey Squirrel - June 11, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC- No need to trim the fat here. Very good work, Cat!

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