scotch on the rocks, aint no surprise
too many drinks, and I'll anaesthatize
no mix is used and I just down the booze.. every night

tried out the beer
and tried out the wine
hung me right over,
my whisky is fine
my money's gone,
hey can I run a tab?

first drink I want to,
then I really need two
suddenly I'm fallin down there
my pants feel wet and warm
make it doubles, yes do,
three or four that should do
till I leave I'll go away,
feelin little pain.....

a drink's what I need,
you can say what you want
give me some pretzels,
and put on a song
buy these new guys a drink,
give em scotch, make it cold, on the rocks

first drink I want to,
then I really need two
suddenly I'm fallin down there
my pants feel wet and warm
make it doubles, yes do,
three or four that should do
till I leave I'll go away,
feelin little pain.....

scotch on the rocks,
that's a good start,
used to drink rum,
but it just makes me fart
now that it's gone,
I'll just drink scotch till I smile