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Song Parodies -> "Fruit Juice"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Kenny Loggins

Parody Song Title:

"Fruit Juice"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

One man's approach to not getting completely plastered. Enjoy!
I'm no fan of bars
The pressure's too hard
To not get boozed up
Oh, for me, that ain't fun
Beer's not appeali-in'
Can't even keep one shot down
And though you're jeari-in'
At least I'm not upside do-own

So I'm drinkin' my juice, fruit juice
Not gonna try your booze
Squeezed fresh, please, just tastes better to me
Pass on Jack Daniels, I won't get smashed
Booze, won't choose, I'll be fine with my fruit juice

I know it's not cool
To not fall off my barstool
Into a pool of barf
Binge drinkin' isn't for me
Taste makes me want to pu-uke
Won't waste my money on wi-ine
You call me a pru-ude
I make my own choices in li-i-i-ife

So I'll just sit here sippin' my juice, fruit juice
Helps that it's real cheap, too
"Drink beer" say peers, stickin' things in their ears
No Corona for me, waste of dough
Booze, refuse ev'ry time, got my fruit juice

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (got fruit juice)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (love my juice)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (fresh fruit juice)
When you're passed out on the grou-ound
Too many bottles of Crown (hey!)
I'll take you home in my ca-ar

All thanks to my juice, fruit juice
Won't blow a point-oh-two
Your ten Coors Lights made you eat the floor
Passed on Pabst to make sure you don't crash
Dude, your mood gets worse when you're tanked on booze (it's true)
Fruit juice (fresh juice) why you mockin' me, dude? (why, dude?)
Geez, thank me, kept your ass off the streets
Slammed, why man? Just cause I had a plan?
Dude, let loose
You'd just crash your truck, I'm savin' your butt
When you get so drunk, so could you shut up
Buy another Bud, I'll put my feet up (restin' my feet)
Continue to chug fruit juice

I guess you could say that this bud's wiser than his mates! Get it? Bud's wiser? Budweiser? Get it? Get it? Do ya get it? Gee, tough crowd.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   1
 4   2
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - March 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Fruit juice is some good stuff. Making me thirsty!
Onslaught - March 16, 2015 - Report this comment
You hit the 555 ring with this K-Log parody.
Jonathan - March 16, 2015 - Report this comment
well now I want apple juice... 5's
Rob Arndt - March 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Here, lt me DOLE you out some 5s!!!
Ree-freshing! - March 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Now I also want some apple juice, in a jar shaped like an apple with a handle and screw on lid. That's a common drink in Northern California. Yeah, make it chilled.

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