I'm no fan of bars
The pressure's too hard
To not get boozed up
Oh, for me, that ain't fun
Beer's not appeali-in'
Can't even keep one shot down
And though you're jeari-in'
At least I'm not upside do-own

So I'm drinkin' my juice, fruit juice
Not gonna try your booze
Squeezed fresh, please, just tastes better to me
Pass on Jack Daniels, I won't get smashed
Booze, won't choose, I'll be fine with my fruit juice

I know it's not cool
To not fall off my barstool
Into a pool of barf
Binge drinkin' isn't for me
Taste makes me want to pu-uke
Won't waste my money on wi-ine
You call me a pru-ude
I make my own choices in li-i-i-ife

So I'll just sit here sippin' my juice, fruit juice
Helps that it's real cheap, too
"Drink beer" say peers, stickin' things in their ears
No Corona for me, waste of dough
Booze, refuse ev'ry time, got my fruit juice

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (got fruit juice)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (love my juice)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (fresh fruit juice)
When you're passed out on the grou-ound
Too many bottles of Crown (hey!)
I'll take you home in my ca-ar
Aaaaaaaaaaaah

All thanks to my juice, fruit juice
Won't blow a point-oh-two
Your ten Coors Lights made you eat the floor
Passed on Pabst to make sure you don't crash
Dude, your mood gets worse when you're tanked on booze (it's true)
Fruit juice (fresh juice) why you mockin' me, dude? (why, dude?)
Geez, thank me, kept your ass off the streets
Slammed, why man? Just cause I had a plan?
Dude, let loose
You'd just crash your truck, I'm savin' your butt
When you get so drunk, so could you shut up
Buy another Bud, I'll put my feet up (restin' my feet)
Continue to chug fruit juice