Whether he's just makin' games or steali-in' castles outright
This man's full of wiles and probably full of pie
Yellow shirt on his chest and purple overalls, green shoes I think he stole from elves
And all that constant fartin' can't be real good for his health

He is Wario, a hot-tempered, greedy man
He's out to get all of the treasure that he can
And of that nice Mario fellow, he's no-o fan
Wario, he's so entertainin', still an ass

Most of the time he's seen with that twig Waluigi
Cousin? Brother? His best pa-al? Always been lost to me-e
Oh well, eithe-er way, they're two moustached dudes
Playin' so-occer, tennis or karts, what have you

He is Wario, an obese yet muscled man
Sometimes he wears a biker jacket, just like that
A big pink nose with a moustache so full of wax
Wario, he's so funny when he's kickin' ass

Wa-ha-ha-ha! Wa-ha-ha!

Hey now, woo, look at him jerkily dart all around
As he punches poor Ike up into the sky
This weirdo is a sight, a sight, a sight
Then he's a garlic superhero guy or somethin'
He just keeps me grinnin', his brand of nonsense always has me grinnin'

He is Wario, such a bizarre, quirky man
And yet he's lasted for twenty-four years, true that
Wario, he's so funny though he is an ass
I may never get what Mona sees in the man

Do do do-do do-do
Do do do-do do-do
Do do do-do do-do, do do-do do