Ev'ry ni-ight
We go out, I-I just sigh
By which I-I mea-ean reel
At you, ma-an
Wish I wa-as bli-ind
Let me sa-ay my-y spiel

Could you wear a diff'rent shirt, please?
Could you wear one that won't burn my eyes?
All those colours there, they hurt me
How can you think it's not shi-ite?

Tell the truth now: are you certain
That's your fav'rite shirt by far?
Orange, purple and for trim: green
That's not "hip", that's "twit from Mars"

Could you wear a diff'rent shirt, please?
Could you wear one that won't singe my eye-eyes?
Could you wear a diff'rent shirt, please?
One in a not-a-laughing-stock sty-yle

I once thought you were jokin'
Maybe you had a few beers
But after all that brain-pokin'
You were serious, I fear
You're my pal, wouldn't deceive thee
So the truth that you must know
That shirt you're wearing half-open?
Should've been burnt long ago

Do this one fa-avour for me:
Please throw it away
But what's in you-our wardrobe? Geez
This is not oka-ay

Could you buy some diff'rent shirts, please?
Ones that aren't plaid latex, that's not ri-ight
Could you get some diff'rent shirts, please?
Something in the vein of "safe for eye-eyes"

You could use some diff'rent shirts, please
Said before that you weren't colour-bli-ind
Could you buy some diff'rent shirts, please?
If you're cash-strapped, you can borrow mi-ine

There's a plan, just wear my shirts, please
Just don't alter them with a tie-dye-ye