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Song Parodies -> "Old Wives's Advice"

Original Song Title:

"Brilliant Disguise"

Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Old Wives's Advice"

Parody Written by:

Jan Unwin

The Lyrics

How many old wive's tales do we believe when we are kids? After all, your grandmother wouldn't lie....or would she?
Don't crack your knuckles baby
Don't swallow your gum
You must eat all your carrots
Don't be sucking your thumb

Turn down that loud music
Deaf kids don't hear a sound
And if you wanna go blind
Just sit near the TV or play that new game you found

Don't look at the sun
And stop crossing your eyes
Is it true, Granny
or just some old wive's advice

And don't pull out my gray hair
Ten grows to take its place
If you don't want it to freeze that way
Then don't make that face

So just look at the stars
Star light and star bright
Wondering where you are
In the sky tonight

So don't step on the crack
Lightnin' never strikes twice
Is it true Granny
or just some old wive's advice

Now listen to me
Don't go out with wet hair
Keep the cat from your brother
It will suck all his air

You gotta wait an hour
Before you swim in the river
I want you to know you must feed a cold
And I'm sure you must starve a fever

Do put down that coffee cup
Or you will never grow
Laugh before seven, cry by eleven
This I do know

So blow out your candles
And make a wish, it will come true
Pick up that penny
Your Granny won't lie to you

When you got out the door
you better go through it twice
Is it true Granny
or just some old wive's advice

And when you burn your hand
Butter's what you want to apply
You must tell the truth
Or your nose will grow if you lie

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Laurence Dunne - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
[shiver] I remember some tall tales I was told growing up and this brought all those memories flooding back. Thanks! :-)
Leah Lockhart - January 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow, this was great. Like the theme, lots of material to work with. And this is my favorite "Boss" song, I'll tack on some extra brownie. 5's
Michael Pacholek - May 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Never get this parody wet, never expose it to sunlight, and never, no matter how much it cries, never give it fives after midnight. But before, definitely give it fives!

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