Song Parodies -> Totaled Eclipse All Apart
| Original Song Title: | "Total Eclipse of the Heart" |
| Original Performer: | Bonnie Tyler |
| Parody Song Title: | "Totaled Eclipse All Apart" |
| Parody Written by: | wannabemustangjockey |
This parody is more than a year in the making. A guy laments having wrecked his sporty car.
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a need for speed going and I put the hammer down
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of traffic
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous when a plain brown unmarked cruiser goes by
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when folks almost hit me while I drive
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I drive a little wild
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit brainless and I feel unbreakable in my car
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I take a stupid chance on the fly
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when I re-a-lize that I could die
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
'Cause I wrecked my car tonight; it's been screwed up more than ever
And there's no way to make it right; it'll be this way forever.
Might as well tell how it happened, right? 'cause you'll all want to know
I started passing over the yellow solid line --
A truck was coming and I couldn't move back in time
I swerved off of the road and flew off into the dark
And wrapped the car around an oak tree growing in the park
There's no sense keeping it, right? I'm gonna part it out tonight
Or try to sell it all outright
Once my little red Mitsubishi was hot, but now it would be lucky to start
There's nothing I can do, a totaled Eclipse all apart
Once upon a time there was life in my ride but now its only use is for parts
Nothing else to say, a totaled Eclipse all apart
[audio reenactment of crash]
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
And I need it now tonight and I need it more than ever
Yeah that maneuver wasn't right, one that I'll regret forever.
And there's no hope of making it right 'cause so much has gone wrong.
My DSM* is totaled, it's the end of the line.
I loved it but it's crusty, smashed and covered in grime
And now I'm stuck with driving my uncle's rusty Dart
My ruined Mitsu's better than his lame old beater car
I wish I had it tonight... my date is gonna suck alright,
Ain't gonna have no luck tonight
Once my little red Mitsubishi was hot, but now it's just a wreck in my yard
There's nothing I can do, a totaled Eclipse all apart
Once upon a time there was life in my ride but now its only use is for parts
Nothing else to say, a totaled Eclipse all apart
A totaled Eclipse all apart, a totaled Eclipse all apart.
Slow it down, rice guy,
Slow it down, rice guy,
Slow it down....
------
*DSM = a nickname for the Eclipse, after Diamond Star Motors (the Mitsubishi-Chrysler joint venture that built it)
Every now and then I get a need for speed going and I put the hammer down
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of traffic
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous when a plain brown unmarked cruiser goes by
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when folks almost hit me while I drive
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit restless and I drive a little wild
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit brainless and I feel unbreakable in my car
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit angry and I take a stupid chance on the fly
(slow it down)
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified when I re-a-lize that I could die
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
'Cause I wrecked my car tonight; it's been screwed up more than ever
And there's no way to make it right; it'll be this way forever.
Might as well tell how it happened, right? 'cause you'll all want to know
I started passing over the yellow solid line --
A truck was coming and I couldn't move back in time
I swerved off of the road and flew off into the dark
And wrapped the car around an oak tree growing in the park
There's no sense keeping it, right? I'm gonna part it out tonight
Or try to sell it all outright
Once my little red Mitsubishi was hot, but now it would be lucky to start
There's nothing I can do, a totaled Eclipse all apart
Once upon a time there was life in my ride but now its only use is for parts
Nothing else to say, a totaled Eclipse all apart
[audio reenactment of crash]
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
(slow it down, rice guy)
And then just like that it fell apart
And I need it now tonight and I need it more than ever
Yeah that maneuver wasn't right, one that I'll regret forever.
And there's no hope of making it right 'cause so much has gone wrong.
My DSM* is totaled, it's the end of the line.
I loved it but it's crusty, smashed and covered in grime
And now I'm stuck with driving my uncle's rusty Dart
My ruined Mitsu's better than his lame old beater car
I wish I had it tonight... my date is gonna suck alright,
Ain't gonna have no luck tonight
Once my little red Mitsubishi was hot, but now it's just a wreck in my yard
There's nothing I can do, a totaled Eclipse all apart
Once upon a time there was life in my ride but now its only use is for parts
Nothing else to say, a totaled Eclipse all apart
A totaled Eclipse all apart, a totaled Eclipse all apart.
Slow it down, rice guy,
Slow it down, rice guy,
Slow it down....
------
*DSM = a nickname for the Eclipse, after Diamond Star Motors (the Mitsubishi-Chrysler joint venture that built it)
(c) 2007 Jay the Wannabe Mustang Jockey - I don't just write song parodies
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 16 | 15 | 16 |
User Comments Follow...
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*humbly bows* This is sheer brilliance!
Glad to see the transmission of this parody.
Nice work on an excruciating OS. I can imagine this one took a while. 555
Wannabemustangjockey, I would GREATLY prefer to drive an old rusty Dodge Dart over any late-model Japanese car excepting an Isuzu VehiCROSS, an Acura NSX, a late-model Mazda RX7 or a Honda S2000 ONLY if they were completely stock. If they were made into "tuner cars", then I would take the Dodge Dart, bar none.
(SOTM) wannabemustangjockey is the only Amiright author i know who consistently pulls off the difficult task of writing about his favorite topic while making it accessible --and hilarious-- to automotive fans and non-fans alike.
I'm glad to see you back to the Auto-Shop this month.
Have to say that I don't think this was one of your best: competent job on a tricky song, but didn't have the spark (so to speak) of some of your others.
(SOTM) When I get a car, I really hope that it doesn't fall apart. Of course, I also hope it's a Transformer...fat chance. Great job an a soppy OS!
SOTM - You yourself have laid the standard for car parodies in fifth gear a bit higher than this, but I still found it to leave some of the competion to eat your dust.
Good
(SOTM) This is excellent, well done.
(SOTM) See above. I'm still trying to figure out how Bonnie Tyler ended up with that many different records. How the hell can she have 4 different "greatest hits" CDs?
(SOTM) You must have used a different version of the OS as there's an extra first part, but no matter, this was great! Loved the crack about the date.
Very well done on an interesting OS
SOTM - Love the OS, and also, this is EXACTLY why I don't have my learners yet... he he he HE HE HE! 5-5-5
(SOTM) wow, I disagree with Phil - I thought this WAS one of your best, Jay - some sublime lines there, that really fit the story effortlessly, which shows why it took you a year to complete it - loved "And wrapped the car around an oak tree growing in the park" for some reason - it's hard to make the story work and you did it - all with your trademark esoteric automobile detail - 555
(SOTM) I'll sit nicely on the fence between Stu and Phil on this one, Jay...I think it's great, and you worked wonders with a byatch of an OS, but it needed a few trademark wbmj knock out punches to put it over the top. Still, a worthy 555
(SOTM) Hmm. . .I guess I just haven't read as many by you as some others have, but I thought it was a creative take on a very challenge song. . .Kudos on the OS targetted. . .
This was great! 5s
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