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Song Parodies -> "Pete Rose"

Original Song Title:

"The Rose"

Original Performer:

Bette Midler

Parody Song Title:

"Pete Rose"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This has been done before, but that was in support of Pete. It's funny how some people will forgive anything done by Pete, but not Bill Clinton -- or vice versa, with the emphasis, either way, on the "vice." As for the "razor" reference, until recently, through several owners before the current one, the Reds had a rule: No facial hair.
Some say love, it is a river that graced Ohio's banks.
Some say love, it is a razor that trims, the mustache, thanks.
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless need to win.
I say love, it is a gambler, the Hall, he won't get in.

Was a Machine, so big and red, then that beat those old Red Sox.
It's a dream, so gone and dead, now, and teams just clean our clocks.
It's a voice afraid of rambling, that Marty Brennaman.
And it's a Pete, and he's still gambling, and Bud might run him in.

When the Hall has been too lonely, and the wait has been too long
and you think the honor's only for the moral and the strong
just remember, that in the winter, underneath the football snows
lies the Pete, and turth will sometimes in the spring come from Pete Rose.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1

User Comments

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Tim Hall - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Even better then Gambling Rose. Thanks for mentioning Marty Brennaman because I grew up following the Big Red Machine in the 1970's.
Bob Gomez - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
You are so damn right. "Do the crime, do the time..."--except if you're my baseball hero!! The Hall is no place for people who bet on the game, no matter how good they were on the field. d;:^)
Quayle - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Just like the Reds are this year: near the bottom!
Bubba - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Yeah, I seem to remember that other parody...LOL. Anyway, I agree, neither Pete nor Bill were moral giants, OK? I guess the difference is, I can kinda see myself in Pete's shoes. Who hasn't participated in an office pool? Bet money on a ball game? I have, lots of times (not lately, because with 4 kids, I don't have money to gamble with). I've even bet on myself (on a game of pool, for example). All these are illegal, but still it happens. Now, I can say for certain that I've never had sex at work with anyone, and I've never claimed that oral sex was not "sex." Here's the kicker. No matter what Bill Clinton did, history will remember him as a successful President, with his command of the economy and the support of the people he had. But, because of Bart Giamatti, years from now, people will go into Cooperstown, where the greatest baseball players of all time are enshrined, and they will be missing out on one of the best. I saw Pete Rose play, and it just doesn't seem right that he's not in the Hall. My opinion.
wdh - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Well done, I'm really enjoying your baseball parodies. Keep it up!
Michael Pacholek - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, everyone. I'm still trying to do parodies for all 30 teams, and, as Marty Brennaman would say, this one belongs to the Reds. Not that they'd want to claim it. I may have to do one that's kinder to them. Let's see, songs with "machine" in the title...
Bubba - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment
Or you could do something like this, to the tune of "Big Shot": "Oh, you had to work for Marge Schott, did ya, you had to shave off your mustache. You had to work for Marge Schott, did ya, now you're broke out in a rash..."
Wild Man - September 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice job man.
Michael Pacholek - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment
Now you did it, Bubba: Well, you went downtown riding in your limousine in your fine army-navy store clothes... (For those who don't remember, Marge was a little on the cheap side.)
Bubba - September 18, 2003 - Report this comment
You had a cold RC in your hand, and no shoes on your toes...
Tim Hall - January 06, 2004 - Report this comment
What do you think of Pete's admission?

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