Dum, dum, dum, buddy, what have you got?
Dum, dum, dum, looked around your whole shop
Dum, dum, dum, buddy, what have you got?
Dum, dum, dum, looked around, looked around, ah-ow!
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah

Crazy sorts of guns, crazy sorts of guns
That's the kind I want 'cause bullets are overdone
Energy plasma too, I'm not a Star Trek dude
I want that crazy ammunition, the kind that physics can't explain
Don't worry about budget, gimme crazy sorts of guns
No, not overpowered, I want strange

Crazy sorts of guns, crazy sorts of guns
I want weapons-grade plums, nuclear apples and rocket nuts
Stuff that might get you sued by the PvZ dudes
But why not aim a little higher? A rocket launcher that shoots trains (ah, ah (hey), ah, ah)
No, I don't mean the train's the target, it replaces the rocket
Potent source for puns before they're maimed

You should make, you should make these, they're great, yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah
I would pay, I would pay so much, mate, yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah
Don't delay, don't delay, don't, don't delay
Whoo!

Crazy sorts of guns, crazy sorts of guns
I don't want "kill" or "stun", I want uniqueness when shootin' up
How 'bout a gun that screws all crazy-like with their moods?
A blaster that'll infect 'em with a fear of the open space
Ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-ooh-whoa-ooh-ooh-whoa
Or makes 'em super small and squeaky, chew toy or mouse? I'm easy
Whatever gets them out my face

You should make, you should make these, yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah
I would pay, I would pay so much, mate, yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-yeah-ee-ee-yeah-eah
Don't delay, don't delay, don't, don't delay

Crazy sorts of guns, crazy sorts of guns
Crazy sorts of guns, so many options, I'd pay big bucks
Crazy sorts of guns (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah), I'd make them myself but (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
No engineerin' skill myself, bud (help me, help me solve my problem), can't make crazy sorts of guns (my plans would be tight)
Crazy sorts of guns (you know video games love this crap) 'cause combat should be nuts (they should share, that's right)
I'm not a fan of the blood and guts (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah), crazy sorts of guns (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Crazy sorts of guns (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) should shut that problem up (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
Want this to happen, know I sound nuts (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)