In a dark college hallway, cool beer in my hand
Warm smell of a pizza, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a Michelob Light
My can was empty and my fridge was bare, I had to stop for the night
So I leaned in the doorway, I had a dizzy spell
And I was thinking to myself she could be twenty or she could be twelve
I was lit like a candle, and the room seemed to sway
There were voices down the corridor, thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel BeastOlympia, such a lovely place (such a lovely
place), such a lovely case
Plenty of beer at the Hotel BeastOlympia, any kind of beer, you can find it
here!
My mind is defin'ly toasted, I got the beer goggle lens
There are lots of pretty pretty girls, all are tens
How they dance in the dorm room, reeking of ale
Some sleep in the bathroom, some puke in a pale
So I called to my roommate, "Please bring me my beer!"
And he said, "You don't have to yell so loud while the R.A. is near."
And still those voices are calling from far away
Getting up cause I have to go and pee, and I hear them say
Welcome to the Hotel BeastOlympia, such a lovely place (such a lovely
place), such a lovely case
They're livin it up at the Hotel BeastOlympia, the police arrive, what's
your alibi?
Beer stains on the ceiling, the jungle juice on ice
And she said, "We are all playing drinking games here, do you have any
dice?"
In the master's chamber, played quarters in the heat
Stab it with my steely coin, but I just can't chug a Beast
Last thing I remember, I was crawling for the door
I had to find a passage back to the bathroom on the floor
"Relax," said my roommate, "I got everyone to leave"
"You can pass out anytime you like, but you can never heave!"