City girls just seem to find out early
how to open beers with just a thumb.
A rich frat boy and she won't have to worry.
She'll let him pop the top and act real dumb.

Late at night, sorority house gets lonely.
I guess every delivery has its price.
And it breaks her heart to think her cash is only
given to a man whose sodas don't have ice.

So she tells them she must go out for the weekend
off to an old fat farm outside of town.
But they know where she's going as she's leaving.
She's headed for the Arches or the Crown.

You can't hide your flyin' fries.
And your smile has been ketchupized.
I thought by now, you'd realize
there ain't no way to hide your flyin' fries.

On the other side of town her boy is waiting
with painted eyes and hair that's red but not real.
And she drives on through the night anticipating
'cause ol' Ronald knows the way she likes to feel.

She purchases Big Macs without the lettuce.
She whispers it would only cramp her style.
She swears, "Cholesterol's not gonna get us."
She drives away with shake upon her smile.

You can't hide your flyin' fries.
And your smile has been ketchupized.
I thought by now, you'd realize
there ain't no way to hide your flyin' fries.

She gets up and pours herself a Coors Light
and stares out at the stars up in the sky.
Another ten pounds she's gained on this fortnight.
She counts her chins and hangs her head to cry.

She wonders how she ever got this heavy.
She thinks about Big Boy, her lunch at school.
Did she get tired, or just shaped like a Chevy?
She's so bogged down, she feels just like a fool.

My oh my, you sure know how to arrange things.
You set it up so well, so tastefully.
Ain't it funny how Dr. Phil sure couldn't change things.
You're still as fat as that girl Lewinsky.

And you can't hide your flyin' fries.
And your smile has been ketchupized.
I thought by now, you'd realize
there ain't no way to hide your flyin' fries.
There ain't no way to hide your flyin' fries.
Honey mustard on your flyin' fries.