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Song Parodies -> "Twits In The Bike Lane"

Original Song Title:

"Life In The Fast Lane"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Twits In The Bike Lane"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I'm in my modest sedan
In the bike lane's a dipshit
His helmet looks really silly
He won't slow up
Does he think the speed limit is for cars
I think that's so shitty
It's like he's aiming for a record like Whittingham, dude
Could think that he's Armstrong, both are a douche
He's a pedaling moron, not just one guy there
Group of cycling bastards, it's more than I can bear

Twits in the bike lane
Gotta wear those stupid tights
Gits in the bike lane, yeah

Too damn close to my car

These twits can't even stay in their lane
Veer right into traffic, parked car in their way
There's this thing called a sidewalk
You might get someone killed
Though that self would be yourself
That's what you get, ya dill
See you in my side mirrors, look at your face
Remember for later ref'rence
When police are on your case
For being crazy, ignored the red light
You're fast enough to make it
Not smart enough to know that's stupid

Twits in the bike lane
Stay in your lane on the side
Gits in the bike lane, yeah
Twits in the bike lane
Open my door next time
Dorks in the bike lane, uh huh

One I can deal with, but what is worse
Is two gits not in a line
Side by side - utter jerks!
Are they feckin' crazy, or is this some dare-type thing
Where one guy sticks out in traffic
Is fate-tempting really chic?
It makes sense while racing, in tournaments and crap
But out in friggin' public? That's just askin' for a crash
There is no way this is okay
They're askin' for a door
To open up, like Mr. Clean, polish them off
They're all just

Twits in the bike lane
Piss me off each time they ride
Gits in the bike lane, uh huh
Twits in the bike lane
Though that ass, lookin' fine
Guys in the bike lane, oh dear

Twits in the bike lane
Gits in the bike lane

Sam Whittingham holds the cycling record for fastest time on a flat surface (i.e. no gravity-assisted downhill nonsense). There's your bonus trivia fact for the day!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Jonathan - May 01, 2013 - Report this comment
see it's things like this that make me glad I never learned to ride a bike 5's
Agrimorfee - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
But how do you really feel about it?
Matthias - May 09, 2013 - Report this comment
I really biked this parody!
Rex - May 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Twits have taken over politics, network news...and now the bike lane? Help us all! Funny stuff.
Max Power - May 18, 2013 - Report this comment
It's much worse in China, believe me, the traffic lights are just for decoration.
Jeff Reuben - May 20, 2013 - Report this comment
Fantastic title sub, great idea to go with this song. Well done.
Arwen - May 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Artistry...and a driver, I hate bikers...but when I'm on my bike...I hate cars. Basically I just want the road to belong to me and me alone. ; ) Loved this...lots of smiles!

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