Song Parodies -> "Ryan's Eyes"

Original Song Title:

"Lyin' Eyes"

Original Performer:

"Ryan's Eyes"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Back in 1996, as they finished 1-15, I wrote one of my earliest parodies, "The New York Jets," to the tune of "Like a Rolling Stone." (It's on Amiright, virtually unchanged from when I wrote it, well before the site started.) You know, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

(instrumental opening)

City girls seem to find out early
how a football coach can make them smile.
A rich old man, with pharmaceutical money
will keep the team in green and white in style.

Late at night, on Saturdays beforehand
they know each PSL comes with a price.
But they know as they head out on Sunday morning
there's a chance the other team gets put on ice.

So she tells her friends she won't be back 'til evening.
She'll watch her boy Sanchez lead Gang Green down.
And they know where she's going as she's leaving:
She is headed for East Rutherford, the town.

You can't hide Rex Ryan's eyes.
And his smile is a thin disguise.
I thought by now, you'd realize
there's not much thought behind Rex Ryan's eyes.

On the other side of old Abe Lincoln's tunnel
she casts her eyes on dreams no one can steal.
She drives into the lot, ready to rumble.
'Cause they make her feel the way she used to feel.

She hasn't felt like this since her boy Namath.
She whispers that it's really been a while.
It was her son, now it's grandkids she came with.
But Jets 19, Bills 7, and she'll smile.

You can't hide Rex Ryan's eyes.
And his smile is a thin disguise.
I thought by now, you'd realize
there's not much thought behind Rex Ryan's eyes.

She jumps up with win in Indianap'lis.
With win in Foxboro, she feels so high.
But in Pittsburgh, Rex's boys, they looked so hapless.
She walks out to her car and starts to cry.

She wonders how it ever got this crazy.
She thinks about how Namath made her drool.
Four hundred miles, she drove, she's not lazy.
But the Jets, again, made her feel like a fool.

My oh my, Rex sure knew how to arrange things.
The team talked up so big, dramatically.
Ain't it funny how their attitude didn't change things.
They're still the "Same Old Jets" they used to be.

You can't hide Rex Ryan's eyes.
And his smile is a thin disguise.
I thought by now, you'd realize
there's not much thought behind Rex Ryan's eyes.
There's not much thought behind Rex Ryan's eyes.
Honey, don't fall for Rex Ryan's eyes.

(instrumental close)

There, I did it -- and not one mention of feet.

Previous Parody Added to the Site | Next Parody Added to the Site

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment

My eyes have it here, and they don't lie! ;-D Swell Job! 5's ;-)

Old Man Ribber - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment

Michael - Fine job! Unlike our alleged franchise in Cincinnati, the Jets seem to be up more than down. As for the circus-like atmosphere, it's not nearly as bad as Jerry Glanville in Atlanta. Also, isn't it a lot more fun to write about Rex Ryan than Paul Ryan? I'd rather take a swipe at Bengals owner Mike Brown than Jerry Brown any day. Again, nice parody. ;D

Mark Scotti - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment

They had a LOT of chances last week to beat the Steelers, but they reverted to typical JET fashion and blew it...

Max Power - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment

Jets are one of those team who would beat themselves. Don't forget they had a chance to win against Elway-led Broncos in 1999 and blew that one as well.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.