(long instrumental opening)

On a dark Texas highway
cool wind in her hair
was a fine senorita
hotter than I could bear.
Up ahead in the distance
was a basketball team.
She’s a native of that team's hometown
and they’ve fulfilled her dream.

As she stood in the doorway
her hubby let shot go free.
I was thinking to myself
“This could be two points, or it could be three.”
This team from San Antonio
they have shown us the way.
They’ve won them some titles, four
and I heard them say…

“Our biggest fan is Eva Longoria.
Here inside our place
(here in side our place)
such a lovely face.

Tony Parker, he married Eva Longoria.
All throughout the year
(all throughout the year)
you can find her here.”

She leaves my mind really twisted.
She gives my heart lots of bends.
Uh…
The Spurs, they are some pretty boys.
She says, “Just friends.”
How they played on the courtside.
Sweet winter sweat.
The Lakers, you might remember:
A beatdown is what they get.

So I called up the captain:
Tim Duncan, she’s fine.
He said, “She’s been here since our first-won crown
in nineteen ninety-nine.”

And still those voices are calling
from far away.
Watch “SportsCenter” in the middle of the night
I can hear them say…

“Our biggest fan is Eva Longoria.
Here inside our place
(here in side our place)
such a lovely face.”

Thierry Henry checkin’ out Eva Longoria.
What a nice surprise.
(What a nice surprise.)
But now Eva cries…

Mirrors on the ceiling
and pink champagne on ice.
And she said, “Tony, how could you, here?
Cheat on me, such a vice?”

And now they act like strangers.
From marriage, they’re released.
She pokes him with her fingernails
and she calls him “cheating beast!”

Last thing I remembered
I was running for the door.
At the AT&T Center
underneath their banners four.

“Relax,” said desperate housewife.
“I am programmed to receive.
You can come now any time you like.
I thought he’d never leave!”

(long instrumental fadeout)