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Song Parodies -> "Gibbs Rules"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Gibbs Rules"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I needed a song where the rhythm and length fit, or almost fit, and I decided on "Desperado." I didn't quite work 'em all in, but I came close. "Probie": New hire, a probationary one. If you're the junior of two agents, the senior reserves the right to always call you "Probie." "Ducky's scene": The autopsy lab. This clip explains nearly all the rules shown onscreen thus far:
(instrumental opening)

Listen, Probie:
Don't let suspects stay together.
Never screw o'er your partner.
Wear gloves to crime scene.

Got a secret?
Best keep it to yourself now.
Never be unreachable
if you know what I mean.

Never tell me that you're sorry, boy.
Of weakness, it's a signpost.
And always be specific when you lie.

Never take nothing for granted.
Always bring a knife to each post.
Don't get personally involved, you might die.

Listen, probie:
Never date a co-worker.
Never involve a lawyer.
Always work as a team.

It's better to seek... forgiveness
than to ask for permission.
If I'm in interrogation
don't interrupt, you'll get reamed.

Never mess with coffee of a Marine.
Or you will be sent to Ducky's scene.
If it's your case, it stays your lead, it's true.

There's two ways to follow someone:
First way you're never noticed.
The second way they only notice

Listen, Probie:
The rules numbered in forties
are just for emergencies.
So heed ye this song.

If it seems like
someone is out to get you.
Then they ARE out to get you.
(They ARE out to get you!)
But, this, never forget, you...

Sometimes you are...


(instrumental close)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Good job, Michael. Due to LONG-standing conflictions, I had never seen NCIS until recently. Imagine my delight to see David McCallum (Ilya from The Man From UNCLE) in the role of Dr. Mallard! Related to the term used used in this parody, McCallum played the junior wireless operator in the 1958 Titantic story "A Night To Remember"...THE most factually correct film on the subject. So, I guess Ducky (who survived) was a Probie himself at one time. Thanks again. ;D
Smell Gibbson - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm so glad this parody wasn't about Robert Gibbs. The biggest buffoon of a press secretary in history. Of course, look at the big buffoon he works for.
AFW - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Haven't watched the show, but interesting parody..anyway
Michael Pacholek - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
AFW, for not watching the show, you get a "Gibbslap." Gibbson: The biggest buffoon of a press secretary in history? How soon you forgot Dana Perino -- and her boss, who got us into this mess. This is for you:
Tommy Turtle - August 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Your reply is ready, at the Al Gore parody:

btw, by what authority do you determine which TV shows people should watch, or whether they should watch the so-called "idiot box" at all?

(you want this comment deleted? Yours to AFW would then need to go, too, as being a personal attack unrelated to the merits of your parody.)
Michael Pacholek - August 08, 2010 - Report this comment
AFW understands I was joking. As for the rest, I answered at the link in question, and you won't like it, not that I care.

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