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Song Parodies -> "Off to California"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Off to California"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

It took fifty years for Brooklyn's own Joe Torre to, as the old theme song went, "Follow the Dodgers." Meanwhile, back in the real city...
(long guitar opening)

On the New York State Thruway
cool wind in my hair
warm smell of the ghetto
rising up through the air
up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light.
I knew it was Yankee Stadium
but now A-Rod's in flight.

As I stood in the doorway
saw Cashman, whom I knew well.
And I was thinking to myself
"Money" is all that A-Rod can spell.
And I asked Hank Steinbrenner,
"How did talks go today?"
Shook his head in that corridor
and I heard him say,

Well, Joe Torre's off to California.
Took Don Mattingly.
(Took Don Mattingly.)
Bowa, too, you see.

He's gonna regret going off to California.
Got Scott Proctor there.
(Got Scott Proctor there.)
Lose his last three hairs!

Scott Boras is so twisted
in his Mercedes-Benz.
He's got a very pretty, pretty boy
means to his ends.
Derek Jeter will play hard.
Robbie Cano sweats.
A-Rod, you'll remember
only gave us regrets.

So I called up the Captain:
"Glad you're still at short."
And he said
"That guy has driven me
nuts since two thousand four."
And still those voices were calling
from far away.
Ghosts in projects where stood Ebbets Field
and the Polo Grounds, Say Hey!

Bums and Jints went off to California!
Such a lovely place.
(Such a lovely place.)
For New York, disgrace.
Half a century back, off to California!
Heard O'Malley's lies!
(Heard O'Malley's lies!)
Stoneham's alibis!

Mirror's not reporting.
Herald-Tribune's on ice.
And I said, "We've still got three papers here
but not one of them's nice."

And in Scott Boras' chambers
he's gathered for his feast.
He's stabbed fans in the back so long
so what team would feed that beast?

Last thing I remembered
I was running for the door.
Red Sox won the World Series.
That never used to happen before.

"Relax," said the Sox fan.
"Another parade I receive."
But I got what I'd really like:
It's watching A-Rod leave!

(long guitar fadeout)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Below Average Dave ( - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
"Relax," said the Sox fan. "Another parade I receive." But I got what I'd really like: It's watching A-Rod leave! Not a big baseball guy myself, but that was rhymed too well not to like
TJC - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I too echo BAD's sentiments and A-nalysis... I can see your sports related works being very popular (saleable?) locally.
alvin - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
nicely a dodger fan i was glad to see torre replace ol' laid back hillbilly, grady will be interesting to see what joe can do with a team with a payroll half the size of the yanks
Ann Hammond - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
what Dave said
John Barry - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
malcolm higgins - November 09, 2007 - Report this comment
no errors here 5-5-5

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