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Song Parodies -> "Hotel Memorabilia"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Hotel Memorabilia"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Imagine for a moment that you're a famous person, wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, living a charmed life. Then, you're arrested for two murders. It becomes one of the most sensational trials in human history. And you're acquitted. Now, regardless of whether or not you actually did it... Wouldn't you then do ANYTHING to avoid going back to jail? Not if your name is Orenthal James Simpson, apparently!
(long instrumental opening)

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
casino lights of neon rising up through the air
up ahead in the distance, I saw the shimmering light
where clocks are banned from casino floor, so people gamble all night.

As I stood in the doorway, I saw a man I knew well.
And I was thinking to myself, he's not in jail but he might go to hell.
And he lit up a scandal, he did not learn the way.
There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say...

Let's go, guys, get hotel memorabilia!
This guy stole my stuff!
(This guy stole my stuff!)
Now we're getting rough!

Plenty of dough made from hotel memorabilia!
Gotta get him here
(gotta get him here)
so put down that beer!

His mind is hopelessly twisted. Infamy never ends.
He's got a lot of silly, silly boys that he calls friends.
Played with Bills, then with "Broncos." Wears suits-of-sweat.
His tale we remember, we'd like to forget!

So I called up the captain, please come to the door
and do not mess it up now here, like nineteen ninety-four!
And still those voices were calling from far away!
Hauled to jail in the middle of the night, and I heard them say, hey!

That guy, he stole hotel memorabilia!
Now we got O.J.!
(Now we got O.J.!)
This time, he will pay!

Pulling a gun on the hotel memorabilia!
What a nice surprise!
(What a nice surprise!)
There's no alibis!

Concrete is the ceiling, Juice is now on ice.
And he said, "Why am I a prisoner here? I'm one of the good guys!"
And in the judge's chambers, they gather for the feast.
"He didn't use his steely knives, but can we keep locked up this beast?"

Last thing I remembered, I was running for the door.
I really don't wanna watch this trial, like the one before.
"Relax," said the night man. "We are programmed to receive.
You can check other stupid folks! Britney's sure to relieve!"

(long instrumental fadeout)
O.J.'s only hope now might be a true jury of his peers. Not Jim Brown, Gale Sayers, Barry Sanders, Emmitt Smith or LaDanian Tomlinson. (Keeping in mind, sadly, Walter Payton is dead... not by O.J.'s hand.) No, in this case, O.J.'s peers are Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and the aforementioned Ms. Spears -- who, last I heard, was still in Vegas, baby!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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alvin - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
especially liked the bills / broncos line
Tim Hall - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
OJ's latest bout of stupidity was at Palace Station, a off-strip casino that has seen better days. He was staying at the Palms
John Barry - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Great title; great topical parody.
Below Average Dave - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Timely and Funny. . .Awesome job
Andria - September 22, 2007 - Report this comment
I love it!
MrMacphisto - September 23, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL... this is probably the best of today...
John Jenkins - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Very good concept, enhanced by clever lines such as the Bronco line and the conclusion.
Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Once the title came to me, the rest was easy. I'm kinda proud of this one. So how come Fred Goldman hasn't given me a five?

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