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Song Parodies -> "Desperate Housewife"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Desperate Housewife"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"If a title seems obvious to you, chances are it already seemed obvious to someone else." Well, no one did this obvious title before me, so here goes.
(To Gabrielle -- Eva Longoria)
Desperate housewife.
Why don't you come to your senses?
You plowed under the fences
when mowing lawns.
I'm a hard one
and you know you are the reason.
Some afternoon pleasin'
won't hurt you, no how.

(To Susan -- Teri Hatcher)
Don't have credit cards or diamonds, girl.
My ex-wife, she's a snatcher.
A fiend of hearts, she was, and you can bet.
Now, it seems that you're a fine thing
so what do you say, Ms. Hatcher?
'Cause a Superman's what you no longer get.

(To Lynette: Felicity Huffman, a.k.a. Mrs. Macy)
Desperate housewife.
I've begged you for a fortnight.
You were once on "Sports Night"
but that show is gone.
The freedom, we got freedom
to get all soft and lacy.
That William H. Macy?
Pretend he's not home.

(To Edie -- Nicollette Sheridan)
Don't your bod get cold in that locker room?
Did Owens not make your heart go boom?
It's hard to find guys like that on Sunday!
I'm losing what's left of my mind
since you will not come give me that kind
of play!

(To Bree -- Marcia Cross)
Desperate housewife
you hot merry widow
come over here, kiddo
open the gate.

(To all of them)
I'm not complaining
but I'm still not above you.
Just one say I can love you
(Say I can love you)
Just one say I can love you...

...if just for one...

Had a little trouble at the end. There are certain words that rhyme with "gate" that I didn't want to use. "Hate," for example.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   2
 4   2
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
What, you want 'em all? Greedy bass turd...;-) 555
alvin rhodes - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Tim Hall - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny and easy to read! 5's
Billy Boyd - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
This was a really fun read...and a great OS, as well. 5's.
Red Ant - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Well Michael, I thought of approx. 326 different titles for this OS before I came up with this one. As for the parody, all 5s.
MrMacphisto - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL... good job
Michael Pacholek - June 25, 2005 - Report this comment
No, I don't want them all. I just want to improve my odds. Despite the order in the song, my first choice would be Teri Hatcher. I can compete with Superman and Seinfeld, but I can't compete with a San Antonio Spur. (It's rumored that Tony Parker has been posting up with Eva Longoria, who is from South Texas, so she's no front-runner.)
jango - June 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Love the song, and can easily guess what the show's about, don't even have to watch it. (posting up---snark snark, i get it) Even your comments are funny. P.S. Superman's (sniff) dead.
Martin - April 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Good parody. I'm glad I checked to see if anybody did this already. Even though I was going to call mine Desprate House Hos. By the way, jango, wrong Superman -- Teri Hatcher was on the tv show with Dean Cain, not Christopher Reeve.

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