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Song Parodies -> "I Never Cheated"

Original Song Title:

"Just What I Needed"

Original Performer:

The Cars

Parody Song Title:

"I Never Cheated"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I chose to parody this song purely because of the mashup by Party Ben, which mixes Just What I Needed with Poker Face by Lady GaGa. Seriously!
A stickler for playing fair
And keepin' things on time
Could say I overeact, yeah
I act like it's a crime!

If you start running with the ball
If you run people into walls
I will grab you by the ear
Start yellin' "that ain't prime"!

But you know what freaks me out
Is when some utter creep
It doesn't matter who it is
They say I tried to cheat! WHAT

I pride myself on playing fair and
Being an asshole, I'll admit
But why would they call me out
On what I never did

I know that I never cheated (I never cheated)
Got the rulebook up my sleeve
I know that I never cheated (I never cheated)
It's something that makes me peeved

This is totally unfair
Are you just a sore loser?
Cuz after you lose fair and square
You say I'm a cheater, yeah

You say you saw me hide an ace
And saw right through my poker face*
Can't you get it in your head
And not lose your temper?

I tell you: I never cheated (I never cheated)
I had no ace up my sleeve
Tellin' you: I never cheated (I never cheated)
No dirty tricks, no siree

I swear that I never cheated (I never cheated)
Cheating just isn't me
I swear that I never cheated (I never cheated)
Could you put down that brick, please?
Ow, ow, that hurts me

(No, I never cheated)
(Well, maybe I cheated)
(Not much, but I cheated)
Yeah, yeah yeah!
*the aforementioned mashup inspired this line.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Leo Keough - November 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice title switch and fun twist on the OS!!!...555!!!
Christie Marie M - November 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Good one, Conq! My fave of the day! Some gamblers and bookies are likely to be cheaters! Here's 555.
Matthias - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I like how you included "Pokerface" into a song about cheating at poker (I'm surprised nobody has actually done that parody yet). Awesome work!
Agrimorfee - November 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Interesting take...weird accents on the syllables in spots made this hard to pace.
Jeff Reuben - November 13, 2009 - Report this comment
A parody sung from the perspective of a goody-goody (who is occasionally a self-proclaimed a-hole) :-) I also liked the Pokerface line. Nice job.
Rex - November 22, 2009 - Report this comment
(Artistry) "Cheaters never win, and winners never cheat." At least that's what I was told by a bunch of winning cheaters. Good job.
Below Average Dave - November 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Cool idea, and not what I expected to be honest. I thought, well TCOP is doing a parody about school . . .because you do have a number of those, so I was plesently surprised. I do think there were some lines that were scanned a tad funny, but I'll forgive that because it's the Cars, which sing in a way that you could probably make it work anyway.
Mark Scotti - May 12, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) It's a "full house" of laughs!
Glen S - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
The refrain worked for me on this. Good choice of song and clever idea. You carried it well throughout. "But you know what freaks me out, Is when some utter creep" stood out to me as good use of the original.
Below Average Dave - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Sorry TCOP in addition to my original nag, I found the rhyme scheme missed in a number of stanzas, The Cars are somewhat known for irregular rhyme schemes, seems they caught you off guard a bit buddy
Abbott Skelding - May 19, 2011 - Report this comment
ABC: Nice job spoofing the original title and nice work with the choruses, but to me personally, I didn't think it was all that funny. Interesting topic choice, but I think some more jokes could have been thrown in there.
Blaydeman - May 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I liked this one a lot. I thought it was clever. Like Abbott said, more jokes could've been inserted I'm sure, but it's really good the way it is now. Great job!
D-Mon - May 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I thought it was funny, and you can't cheat that.

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