Scum girls give me herpes
Scum girls get me dope
Scum girls give me rashes
From the whipping and the rope

Scum girls get me trouble
Some days, jail time
Scum girls seem to like musicians
And inspire me to rhyme

Scum girls are so ug-a-ly
Others are so gross
I am no prize either
It's what I settle for

So I will call them "Honey"
Even if they're old
When I get a rash, I'll just treat with bleach
And give you back the sores you own

Scum girls call me "Sonny"
Scum girls love the hose
Scum girls have a skirt and a rack
And I will have me one of those

Stench girls I will fumigate
Battalion girls in bars
But underage girls I avoid just like a plague
I'm not a complete lunatic

Realtor girls are so pushy
All they want from me is "Sell a home"
Sometimes I put a big sign up on my lawn
Just to get them to ever ball at all

Fake girls are pretty funny
Sometimes they look like dad
Mack girls just want to get trucked all night
I cleaned up this verse, yes Ma'am!

Wine/cheese girls are so mental
They're never quite at ease
The ones I get are not good looking
Resemble Mr. Freeze

Got a nose that's runny
Got a constant cold
When I get a gash, I'll just bleat and screech
And give you back the Coors you own

Scum girls there's no cure
Scum girls throw me up
Scum girls stir a cauldron
I never quite feel like a dunce

Give me half your mis'ry
Give me half your crap
Make me laugh at everything
You'll make me the biggest sap

So give me crappy lyrics
I'll rewrite them worse
Can't do more than Mick or Keith
"Cept they make a fortune from this bad verse

*And they don't even bother to rhyme as well as most of us!