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Song Parodies -> "Pair o' Dice In Casino Light"
Original Song Title:
"Paradise By the Dashboard Light"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Meat Loaf
Parody Song Title:
"Pair o' Dice In Casino Light"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Not a sequel to "Buses Full of Old Broads to Atlantic City" -- rest in peace, Jan Berry -- but set in the same location. Remember that tuxedoes and evening gowns are quite common on casino floors, especially if the guests are also going to a show at that hotel.
Well, I remember every pothole we hit on that Jersey Shore highway.
Parkway, really late, and a million other cars in sight.
But I'd never had a girl looking any better than you did.
And all the kids at school dreaming of a lucky streak that night.
And gamblers' bodies are oh-so-close and tight.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right.
And we're glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Well, come on, seven roll!
Well, come on, seven roll!
Though it's cold and lonely in the Jersey night
I can see pair o' dice in casino light.
Ain't no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed
'cause we were over 21 and we were overdressed.
Ain't no doubt about it, "Seven-leven rollin'!" Shout it!
Ain't no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed
'cause we were over 21 and we were overdressed.
Baby, don't you hear my heart, you got it drowning out the slot machines.
Well, I've been waiting so long for you to come along and have some fun.
And I've gotta let you know, money's here and I'm gonna get it.
So I don't want snake-eyes, I want a big surprise.
Just blow on my dice, well, it just might bring a lucky run.
And gamblers' bodies are oh-so-close and tight.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right.
And we're glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Well, come on, seven roll!
Well, come on, seven roll!
Though it's cold and lonely in the Jersey night
I can see pair o' dice in casino light.
Though it's cold and lonely in the Jersey night
ohhhh...
pair o' dice in casino light!
You gotta do what you can
in your tuxedo so nicely pressed.
Ain't no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed
'cause we were over 21 and we were over --
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
Hi, this is Max Kellerman on ESPN! Welcome to the World Series of Craps!
No, not the Expos vs. the Devil Rays, that's the World Series of Crap!
There it is, a seven down the middle!
Look at 'em go, these dice can really fly!
He's won over a hundred bucks now.
He's not letting up at all, he's letting it ride!
He's gonna try for a thousand!
And it's box-cars, twelve!
No, wait, one of the dice tipped over, and now it's an eleven!
This kid really makes things happen in here!
Roller winds up for another throw, and there it is, another seven!
He's over the $5,000 mark now.
Holy cow, stealin' house money!
Lots of bets against him, almost daring him to try to screw up.
He rolls another seven! That's more than $12,000!
They're telling him to let it ride!
If he wins another throw, he'll be over fifty grand!
But if he loses, he'll lose the twelve large he's got now!
Holy cow, I think he's gonna bet it!
Stop right there! I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
What's it gonna be, boy? I can't wait all night.
Do you only love me because I help you win?
Are you gonna dump me if you lose?
What's it gonna be, boy?
Yes?
Or...
No?
Awwww, let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
(simultaneously)
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer
when I'm counting, counting, I'll tell you when I'm counting!
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Lemme roll these dice!
Will you love me forever?
Lemme roll these dice?
Will you leave me for a stripper?
I couldn't take it any longer! Lord, I was crazed
and then the feeling came upon me like those ocean waves
was so ready on this role to bet my mother's grave.
But I'd love you 'til the end of time!
I swore I would love you 'til the end of time!
So now I'm betting money all the time!
Casinos love when I arrive!
'Cause if I don't go down there and get away from you
I'll go nuts, the odds are 'bout nine-to-five!
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
but I'm in the hole about thirteen thou!
And I'm betting money all the time!
That's all that I can doooooooo!
Betting money all the time!
So I can feed that greed of youuuuuuuu!
It was long ago, and far away
the night we drove down the old Parkway.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
glowing like the neon of the tollbooth night.
It was long ago, and far away
the night we drove down the old Parkway.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
glowing like the neon of the tollbooth night.
(repeat 'til fade)
Parkway, really late, and a million other cars in sight.
But I'd never had a girl looking any better than you did.
And all the kids at school dreaming of a lucky streak that night.
And gamblers' bodies are oh-so-close and tight.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right.
And we're glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Well, come on, seven roll!
Well, come on, seven roll!
Though it's cold and lonely in the Jersey night
I can see pair o' dice in casino light.
Ain't no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed
'cause we were over 21 and we were overdressed.
Ain't no doubt about it, "Seven-leven rollin'!" Shout it!
Ain't no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed
'cause we were over 21 and we were overdressed.
Baby, don't you hear my heart, you got it drowning out the slot machines.
Well, I've been waiting so long for you to come along and have some fun.
And I've gotta let you know, money's here and I'm gonna get it.
So I don't want snake-eyes, I want a big surprise.
Just blow on my dice, well, it just might bring a lucky run.
And gamblers' bodies are oh-so-close and tight.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right.
And we're glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Glowing like the neon at the booths of toll.
Well, come on, seven roll!
Well, come on, seven roll!
Though it's cold and lonely in the Jersey night
I can see pair o' dice in casino light.
Though it's cold and lonely in the Jersey night
ohhhh...
pair o' dice in casino light!
You gotta do what you can
in your tuxedo so nicely pressed.
Ain't no doubt about it, we were doubly blessed
'cause we were over 21 and we were over --
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
We're gonna win big bucks tonight!
We're gonna win a million bucks tonight!
Hi, this is Max Kellerman on ESPN! Welcome to the World Series of Craps!
No, not the Expos vs. the Devil Rays, that's the World Series of Crap!
There it is, a seven down the middle!
Look at 'em go, these dice can really fly!
He's won over a hundred bucks now.
He's not letting up at all, he's letting it ride!
He's gonna try for a thousand!
And it's box-cars, twelve!
No, wait, one of the dice tipped over, and now it's an eleven!
This kid really makes things happen in here!
Roller winds up for another throw, and there it is, another seven!
He's over the $5,000 mark now.
Holy cow, stealin' house money!
Lots of bets against him, almost daring him to try to screw up.
He rolls another seven! That's more than $12,000!
They're telling him to let it ride!
If he wins another throw, he'll be over fifty grand!
But if he loses, he'll lose the twelve large he's got now!
Holy cow, I think he's gonna bet it!
Stop right there! I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
What's it gonna be, boy? I can't wait all night.
Do you only love me because I help you win?
Are you gonna dump me if you lose?
What's it gonna be, boy?
Yes?
Or...
No?
Awwww, let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer when I'm counting.
I gotta know right now!
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Do you need me? Will you never leave me?
Will you stay here by my side for the rest of my life?
Or will you dump me and take a stripper girl for your wife?
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
(simultaneously)
Let me roll these dice. Baby, baby, let me roll these dice.
Let me win that cash, I'll give you an answer
when I'm counting, counting, I'll tell you when I'm counting!
I gotta know right now!
Before you roll any further:
Do you love me? Will you love me forever?
Lemme roll these dice!
Will you love me forever?
Lemme roll these dice?
Will you leave me for a stripper?
I couldn't take it any longer! Lord, I was crazed
and then the feeling came upon me like those ocean waves
was so ready on this role to bet my mother's grave.
But I'd love you 'til the end of time!
I swore I would love you 'til the end of time!
So now I'm betting money all the time!
Casinos love when I arrive!
'Cause if I don't go down there and get away from you
I'll go nuts, the odds are 'bout nine-to-five!
I'll never break my promise or forget my vow
but I'm in the hole about thirteen thou!
And I'm betting money all the time!
That's all that I can doooooooo!
Betting money all the time!
So I can feed that greed of youuuuuuuu!
It was long ago, and far away
the night we drove down the old Parkway.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
glowing like the neon of the tollbooth night.
It was long ago, and far away
the night we drove down the old Parkway.
It never felt so good, it never felt so right
glowing like the neon of the tollbooth night.
(repeat 'til fade)
If only I could've worked in the free drinks for the gamblers. Of course, in craps, a two or a three is bad.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Excellent job Pach!
Lotta hard work on that one. I give a 4 Funny--I really wanted more laughs in that "Will you love me forever" section... otherwise, excellent work on a hard song. 545
That was excellent!! Tackling this monster was well worth three fives! Good job!
You even did the commentary! Wow! Just, Wow!
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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