Well, I remember only little bits
Although the accident was just today
Must've broke my brain
I was taking my new Ford for a drive
I was giving it a whirl
My friends were giving me shit for it
They think they're so cool
Holden fanboys, they're so crazy, right

So I took it to the mountains for a drive
Wind in my hair feels good, the engine whines just right
I was chillin' to the music, guess I forgot my lights
That'll really teach me to drive that late at night
Should've! Used my lights!
I should've! Used my mind!

Well, the road was slipp'ry, should've used my brights
Now there's a stobie pole twixt the dashboard lights

Ain't no doubt about it, now my car's a wreck
That pole just shattered the windscreen
The glass has made a mess
Should've watched where I was goin'
Now I have to pay for towin'
That oil puddle's growin'
No-one light a match
Or we'll be blown to smithereens
'Twould be worse than the crash

Was the problem with my car?
Or was the road just slippery as soap?
I'm not quite sure what went wrong
Had I worn down my tires or something dumb
Well, I know it wasn't snow
In my country, we do not get it
Not even way up high
On the mountains, why
Did this happen, guys?
Well, I'm waiting for an answer, bud

The impact must've knocked out both the headlights
And that just isn't good, cause now I can't see shite
And I'm too far from a lightpost, there's no other cars, right
Stuck here in the darkness, wish I had a flashlight
Damnit! There's no light!
Godamnit! Can't see shite!

Fishing through my pockets, must find my mobile
Cause there's a stobie pole twixt the dashboard lights
Must call the mechanic, think his name is Mike
Stobie pole twixt the dashboard lights

I think I spilled my Coke can
Could that be the mys'try put to rest?
Well, I kinda doubt it
'Twas in the holder of cup-things
Safe in the holder

I'm stuck on the mountain road tonight
I'm stuck on this bloody road with a lack of lights
I'm stuck on this bloody road tonight
I'm stuck on this mountain road, and there's no moonlight
I'm stuck on this mountain road tonight
I'm stuck, and I cannot phone, out of batt'ry, right
I'm stuck on this bloody road tonight
I'm stuck on this mountain road, hope someone comes by

Okay, here we go
I know I've got a map somewhere around here
Crouch down, man, what a pong
Good Lord, man, that stink is ripe
The hell is it, oh, there it is!
I think I lost that sandwich three days ago
Although I wonder why
The car cleaner just didn't see this, oh well, now
Pick that sammy off the floor
Deal with it in a second
And I just banged my head on the centre
Of the steering wheel, I hate that wheel!
It hit a zit too, that hurts
Never mind...walk out
Ow, ow, wait, hold the phone now, wait
I should check the glovebox! Novel thought there
Walk around, squeeze past the rail, and I think
If I wiggle, I think I can unlock
The door here, my word, here we go
Open the thing, nice and slow
Cause the hinge likes to squeak
And at night, squeaks aren't what I want to here
Couple minutes pass, I've opened the glovebox
And so I look it over
Hey, that's where I put it
There's that library book, oh my
And beneath it's the map, thank God
Now to find just where the hell am I now
Hold on now, there's no light, I can't read!
Holy cow, that was an hour wasted...

Hold up there!
You cars passing right now
Before you go any further
Can you help me?
Could you help me out, stranger?
Please stop for me
At least lend me batt'ries
That would make me so happy
Cause I am in deep strife
I could sure use a break
A lift back home would be nice

Could you help me?
Could you help me out, stranger?
Don't ignore me
Call the coppers for me
Cause that would be so dandy
They could help me out, right
So please don't drive away
You lazy, unhelpful shite
I need some help right now
So you there, in the Range Rover
Could you help me?
No, do not run me over

My car, I crashed it
Buddy, buddy, my car, I stacked it
My car, I wrecked it
Don't know how it happened, it's annoying

My car, it's busted
Buddy, buddy, my car, I rushed it
My car, I struck it
Right against a pole, now it ain't working

My car, I broke it
Buddy, buddy, my car, I drove it
And I sure hope it's
Not so broke, that I'll have to replace it

I'm kinda stuck right now!
Can't you help me?
Please, just help me out, stranger
Don't just leave me
That would just be douchey
Cause my car is real brokey
The worst crash of my life
Something twigged in my brain
And I just veered to the right
And now I'm screwed right now
So could you please just pull over?
That would please me
No don't drive on, you wanker!

That's rude as can be, oy
Come on!
That is utter shite
No-one stops for me, oy, that is low
No-one stops for me, oy, so...damn...low!

Ah, ah, ah, ah-ah-ah,
My car's still busted
Buddy, buddy, no, I'm not wasted
No, I'm not a drunkard
I'm gonna keep at this 'till the morning

I need a tow right now!

Stop and help me!
Don't just leave me to starve here
Don't drive past me
You wish to condemn me?
I am getting quite angry
With these ignorant shites
Wish I'd stepped on the brakes
Might've avoided this shite

[simultaneously:]
My car, look at it
Buddy, buddy, take a look at it
It's quite a wreck, ain't it?
So could you call a tow truck for me, please
Or maybe, let me borrow your phone, please

Guess I'm alone right now
Because no-one here will offer
To help out me
They just left me, the bastards

They drove past, the gits!
They're such ignorant half-wits
All just utter twits
Wouldn't be too hard, would it?

Well, I can't take it any longer
LORD am I crazed
But now this feeling comes upon me
Like a gentle wave
Ticket to the Land of Nod
And it has been pre-paid
I think I'll wait here 'till the morning light
And then I will ask the postman for a ride

So now I'm sleeping in my car tonight
I hope the postman comes by
Cause I don't know his route, don't have the tiniest clue
And I hope that he's not riding a bike
Cause that would just be awkward, won't fit anyhow
No, I need the van, I hope he doesn't plow
Right past me, 'twould cross the line
Brain would snap in two, ooh, ooh
Sleeping till the morning light
And get help from the postman dude

In my car, I'll doze and sleep the night away
And make sure I don't forget to apply the brakes

Because if I don't apply all of the brakes
My car might just roll straight down, straight down the highway
Yes, I must make sure to apply the handbrake
Cause when I'm nodding off, don't wanna roll away

(Simultaneously)
I hope that I sleep good, for the rest of the night
Cause if the postman thinks I'm cranky, might not give me a ride
Hopin' that I sleep good, on this highway tonight
Hope that the postman ain't a douchebag, that would not be all right

(Repeat both sections to fade)