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Song Parodies -> "Double-O-Seven"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway to Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Would you believe that, after over 600 songs, this is my first Zep parody? Anyway, this is for Her Royal Elfness. Her boy wants to be young Bond, James Bond. Riiiight, and Tom Green and Ashlee Simpson will star as Mr. Steed and Mrs. Peel in the next "Avengers" remake.
(long instrumental opening)

There's an actor who's sure
he'll be fitted for gold
and he's bidding for Double-O-Seven.

If he gets there he knows
that the doors seeming closed
with a word, they will open, his fame for.

Oo-oo-woo, oo-oo-woo
and he's bidding for Double-O-Seven.

There's a sign on the wall, "Orlando, are you sure?
And you know sometimes roles have auditions."
In Ian Fleming's book, young James Bond had his flings.
Play him? Bloom? Nay, your thoughts are misgiven.

Oo-oo-woo, oo-oo-woo
and he's bidding for Double-O-Seven.

There's a feeling I get that Roger Moore was best
but Sean Connery's picked by the masses.
In my thoughts I have seen blasts of smoke from the planes
that Pierce Brosnan has blown up through passes.

Oo-oo-woo, oo-oo-woo
and he's bidding for Double-O-Seven.

And it's whispered that soon Mister John Barry's tune
will be piped in for young man Orlando.
When that new day will dawn, lines won't be very long.
We wish they'd see what Hugh Jackman can do.

Oooo... Orlando will blunder...

Oooo... Orlando will blunder...

If there's a tussle for the Bond Girl, don't be alarmed now.
It's just an inkling of the good Queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
there's still time to change the way you lean.

Your head is pounding and it won't go, because you don't know
this piker's calling you to take him.
Dear lady, can't you hear his films blow, and did you know
a fair way is to hire a better Jim.

(guitar break)

And as we wind up shooting scenes
our budget taller than our green
there walks a lady we all know
but is she Anya or Galore?
Will villain's heart still turn to gold?
And if you listen very hard
wisdom will come to us at last
and tell Orlando to begone
and tell him, "Goodbye, Mister Bond!"

(guitar close)

And he's bi-i-ding for Dou-ou-ble...O-Seven!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   14

User Comments

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Charlie Decker - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I've always thought that I should be the next Bond. Or if not me, then Eric Bana. 555 from me.
Arwen - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh Michael...=) Your warning yesterday had me worried...but you forget that all offensive attempts by you are 100% trumped by the phrase "this is for her Royal Elfness."

I've got to say that while I love Mr. Bloom, I cannot, in good conscience, condone his wishes to be Bond. He's not right for it. In all honesty, I'm pulling for Clive Owen...=)

(and Roger Moore was my favorite Bond of old, btw...)
alvin rhodes - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
congrats on your first zep parody...very well done...5s
Red Ant - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Hehe, glad to see your first "Stairway to Heaven" wasn't a 7-11 parody ( as you once joked with me ). 555.
John Barry - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
5s. And extra credit for mentioning my tune.
AFW - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm Bonding with this...for 5's
Johnny D - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
As the Bond parodies go, this one's Zeppelin than most.
Rex - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
At least Orlando has to be better than George Lazenby....or maybe not.
Michael Pacholek - March 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, everyone. Your comments have left me stirred, and definitely not shaken. YRE: I'm glad to see you're not truly offended, that you like Sir Roger also, and that you agree that Mister Bloom is wrong for the part. But I checked the Internet Media Database, and Owen is already 40. Though being from Coventry, Lady Godiva's home town, he may already be at least partially prepared, if ya know what I mean. Bloom is from Canterbury, and you're probably looking to get some Canterbury Tail. Charlie: Bana's also a little on the old side to play the next Bond, but YOU tell him, seeing as how he turns into the Hulk. Ant: Yeah, those 7-11 parodies are just too easy. And this wasn't even my first choice for a Stairway parody... I'll give the smallest of hints and say that the Number 7 is still involved, but it's not about Mickey Mantle. (Or Trot Nixon.) John Barry: Not you, silly! Rex: OHMSS was the worst of the old-time Bond films, partly because Lazenby stunk, and partly because it was shot more like "Midnight Cowboy" than like "From Russia With Love," et al. What the hell was director Peter Hunt thinking?
Arwen - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL! Anyone who can work a Chaucer pun into a comment is aces with me, Michael!
Stuart McArthur - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
anyone who grew up with, and bade farewell to, Mr Connery (who, at 23, in Dr No, still seems older and wiser than me) was horrified at Roger Moore getting the role. Orlando as a young James can't be worse - but I loved the idea of 007 to "Stairway to Heaven" - and quality stuff, as usual, MP - 555
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 31, 2005 - Report this comment
I wish they had cancelled the Bond "series" and not Enterprise... anyway, here's an anecdote: Twenty years ago I saw a really crappy Bond parodi called (I think) Agent OOO. The premise was that during "boot camp" future agents had to take three field tests, and was given a grade on those tests, on a scale from 0 to 9, and those test results was then to be their agent-number. That premise was about the only funny thing in the movie, so don't go looking for it though.
Michael Pacholek - April 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Sean Connery was born 8/25/1930, so he was 32 when "Dr. No" was released in 1962 (early '63 in the U.S.). Maybe the character was 23 at the time, but it would still make Mister Bond eligible for the British equivalent of Social Security today.

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