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Song Parodies -> "I Was Made for Buffin' You"

Original Song Title:

"I Was Made for Lovin' You"

Original Performer:

Kiss

Parody Song Title:

"I Was Made for Buffin' You"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

New and improved with kung-fu grip, er, I mean, the correct title! Anyway, some D&D classes are smashy-smashy, some are zappy-zappy, but this dude's more of a boost-your-stat-y-stat-y. This is apparently a difficult concept for his friend...
Ooh-ooh, yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Ha!
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do-o, do-o, do
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do-o, do-o, do
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do

Tonight, I'm gonna leave it all to you
Cause those monsters will crush me and make me goo
Dude, it's fine, I will still gain enough XP
No jerk cause I made my dude
A serf to the trained party

I was made for buffin' you, buddy
You were made for crushin', please
And I don't wanna rush in there, buddy
My strength ain't enough, you see

It's fine, I know I didn't roll that high
And my magic is not like our wizard's kind
Can't let fly the lightnin' bolts, not what I do
I boost all your stats, you see
Your to-hit and damage too

I was made for buffin' you, buddy
You were made for crushin', please
If I did try to rush in there, buddy
I'd be turned to mush, you see
I was made for buffin' you, buddy
You were made for crushin', please
My Con score, up to snuff? Hell no, buddy
One small poke, I'll bust, you see

Oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Orc heads, you'll bust, oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh
Since you're strong and tough, oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh
I'll sit back and buff

Yeah
Ha!
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do, do-o, do
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do, do-o, do
Do, do, do, do, do-do-do

I was made for buffin' you, buddy
You were made for crushin', please
You might also become pure goo, buddy
Don't demand more "nuts" from me

Oh-oh-oh, I won't stray
From the fray
I just can't bull-rush
No, I'd be stabbed and crushed

I was made for buffin' you, buddy
You were made for crushin', please
Deny my help and mush you'll be, buddy
But I'm not a monk, you see
I was made for buffin' you, buddy
You were made for crushin', please

I brought up the monk class for rhyming purposes, but then I realised that I currently playing a monk in D&D and he's all about the smashy-smashy. Would've killed Black Spider with a shot to the pills if I hadn't missed one of my four attacks that round, razza-frazza...

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