And the beans sat in the supermarket where I would buy
And I looked at types there on the shelf, I brought some on home to try
I tried navy, lima, green, garbanzo, refried, pinto and black
Then I took off my pants and did a little dance while the gas blew out back

Beans, beans, everywhere is beans
Giving me the flatulence, breakin' obscene
Eat this, don't eat that, had enough of beans

And the beans turned me into a big volcano, I could not go out
So I hit the fridge and I stayed in the house and sprayed the stink about
I still had some coffee, blackeye, faba, refried, kidney, snap and red
If God were here, he'd run right from the room, with a towel wrapped round his head

Beans, beans, everywhere is beans
Giving me the flatulence, breakin' obscene
Eat this, don't eat that, had enough of beans

Got a blister, did the deed
I got to get a fan and clear out all the air
I can't even breath, can't see through there
I'm waiting for it to clear
And the beans had given me a break before they came back from inside
Gag!

No relief came I was there in agony my friend, I couldn't stay
But then I passed out on the ground at the end of the hall
I just couldn't get my ass away
I woke up later on and the paper on the porch had the headline big to sell
The town had been evacuated 'cept me
I was stuck with my own smell

Beans, beans, everywhere is beans
Giving me the flatulence, breakin' obscene
Eat this, don't eat that, had enough of beans