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Song Parodies -> "To Love Her's Barmy"

Original Song Title:

"Oliver's Army"

Original Performer:

Elvis Costello

Parody Song Title:

"To Love Her's Barmy"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

My entry in the Parody Decathlon - Event 3. Not based on a true story (thank goodness).
She won't stop talking
Yet she drives you wild
Celebs she is stalking
Still you think about her all night

Calls toilets her salvation
Are you sure your brain's not on vacation?

To love her's barmy, because she smells
To love her's barmy, she looks like hell
And could someone please poke my eyes out 'cause
She just ain't belle

She wears a corset Charlie
She's really fat and wide
Don't take her to a party
She will eat everything in sight

I don't think she'll get much bigger
Just get her one more sherbet digger

To love her's barmy, you must be deaf
To love her's barmy, sings in bass clef
Don't know why you've agreed to one more date
With Ol' Fat Steph

You've seen her pick her nose
Then wipe it on her clothes
Still you bring her choc-o-lates
Can't you see she's way overweight
Full of fat from KFC, McDonald's, Hungry Jack's

Why do you love her
I think you need an "Insane" stamp
Give her cash, gold and myrrh
She don't need it as she lives like a tramp

Always out of work 'cause she's a whore
But still you're, as they say, 'en amor'

To love her's barmy, sure you ain't blind?
To love her's barmy, her teeth she grinds
And she squeezed the toothpaste in the middle
You lost your mind?
And she is inconceivably ugly
Face like a rind
Have you ever looked her straight in the face?
Looks like a hind
Oh you sad, blind, tone-deaf lovesick twit*
*This parodies the nine "Oh"'s at the end.Note: "Rind" is the skin of a fruit or whatever the hell a bacon rind is.And a hind is a type of deer.Oh, and mrryh was some really expensive...something back in the days of the Bible. And it's pronounced 'mir'

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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MasonR - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL! And a fine OS to parody, too!
Kristof Robertson - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Bob...this is one of the funniest things you've writtn. Harsh as hell, but very funny. Bravo. 555
Stuart McArthur - September 07, 2006 - Report this comment
nice work, bobpie - you are definitely on the up - I'm sure fat old Steph would have loved receiving the myrrh, but nobody who squeezes toothpaste from the middle deserves myrrh in my opinion - 555
Matthias - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Anybody who reads this and doesn't burst out laughing needs and "Insane" stamp. So Weird Al like it's incredible!
tomario - September 13, 2006 - Report this comment
DEC:- when did you meet the wife ? lol 555
Stuart McArthur - September 19, 2006 - Report this comment
(dec3) see above - mmmmmmm, sherbet diggers.....
Johnny D - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon) "Insane" stamp ... heh heh!
Jeff Reuben - September 22, 2006 - Report this comment
I could have dealt with everything else about this woman, but squeezing the toothpaste from the middle! That's where I draw the line! 5s.
Kristof Robertson - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(DEC3) See above, bob...and kudos for being the only person to do a Costello number for this comp
Arwen - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Decathlon...very funny all over, and Jeff's comment was classic, too! =)
Josh 2 - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
brilliant, just brillaint, 5s
Agrimorfee - June 03, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) First time reading, giggled quite immensely. Love the "bigger/digger" lines as the sub for the contorversial "white n*****" couplet. Very good!
Matthias - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree this is very Weird Al like.... Kinda like "I'm So Sick Of You" only inversed, because it contains all of the great insults like that song, but it's told from the friends perspective, because the guy is still in love with this horrible woman. One of your best Conquerer.
UnKnownVotress - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir, . . . you've Got it Bad, and That Ain't Good . . .
Max Power - June 07, 2008 - Report this comment
stuart mcarthur - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) see above, twice - I think it's your skill at unexpected detail that's elevated you up the ranks lately, bobpie - humour everywhere here - good stuff
Red Ant - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
This is excellent, pieman. Lots of funny lines. I had to look up "barmy", but that aside there was much to enjoy here. "sherbet digger" was truly inspired. 555
Guy - June 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4T) Thank the good Lord for drunkened black outs, 'cause I know back in my single youth bingeing days I must have picked up my fair share of these skanks and the grace of the drunkard's blackout must have saved me more than a few times. This is pure funny. 5 for the parody and on the same scale a one for what a barmy state would give a 10.
Invisible Boy - June 11, 2008 - Report this comment
My first impulse was to comment on the toothpaste, but I see that's been done...twice. Maybe she has a "nice personality" ???
Mikey Squirrel - June 11, 2008 - Report this comment
ABC- Very funny and well done, Bob. Brings back alot of unpleasant memories.
Below Average Dave - June 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Hmmm, a little Chubilicious on your hands there? Luckily for me I'm into all sizes, so for me this works!

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