He scratched his bags last night, real tight
Twitter-hour, three A.M.
And he's gonna thumb-wri-i-i-i-ite
Lots of shite by then

He pissed the Earthlings off
He dissed his wife
Sits thronely spoutin' waste
He's such a mi-i-i-i-indless blight

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til Congress grows a pair and ends his slime
He thinks he writes the words he tweets and moans
Oh no, no no
He's a Puppet Man
Puppet Man
Thinkin' thoughts he thinks are his alone

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til Mueller spills the beans and blows our minds
About how Russia made the man their own
Oh no, no no
He's a Puppet Man
Puppet Man
Sniffin' Putin's bare-chest pheromones

Don tans his ancient face, and wears a wig
In fact he's old and smells
And his orange hair, amazing, it's a squid

And all his Cabinet, they can barely stand
To do their jobs fives days a week
For Puppet Ma-a-a-aaaan
For Puppet Man

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til Congress grows a pair and ends his slime
He thinks he writes the words he tweets and moans
Oh no, no no
He's a Puppet Man
Puppet Man
Thinkin' thoughts he thinks are his alone

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
'Til Mueller spills the beans and blows our minds
About how Russia made the man their own
Oh no, no no
He's a Puppet Man
Puppet Man
Sniffin' Putin's bare-chest pheromones

And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
All his clocks at home are stuck on Hong Kong time
And he thinks it's gonna be a long long time
Robert Mueller's loading up for Don-Gone-Time
I don't think it's gonna be a long long time ...