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Song Parodies -> "Jolly Rancher"

Original Song Title:

"Tiny Dancer"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Jolly Rancher"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

As Michelle Obama travels around the country promoting the War on Obesity, one of the War’s first victims has been identified as a Texas THIRD GRADER who was put on detention for possessing a Jolly Rancher.
Chubby baby, the First Lady has a simple plan:
Any food that tastes good, that’s a thing she wants to ban.
Ms. Obama, it might cause trauma heeding your command.
Will I be shot with, if I’m caught with Jolly Ranchers in my hand?

Teachers check out what kids eat
Penalizing those who snack.
Skittles earn a wrist slap;
Repeat offenders get the rack.

But as the schools enforce these rules,
We see pandemonium.
When classrooms are like prisons,
We might be less fat, but more dumb.

When I crave some sweets to eat,
Krispy Kremes are in my dreams;
But the snack I most often choose
Gives me sweet and gummy chews:

Ease my cravings, Jolly Ranchers;
Counts of calories I’ll ignore.
Even though I’ll get detention,
I’m going to eat a whole lot more.

“Don’t eat gravy,” the First Lady says on all her trips.
“Shun French fries and pot pies; be wary of cream cheese dips.
And Doritos, you must not eat those tasty little chips.”
But whom will I hurt if I insert Jolly Ranchers through my lips?

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
"Sweet" parody that left a "sour" taste in my mouth(subject wise)! LOL All should heed my advice from:
2Eagle - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Everybody is on the food nazi bandwagon. Remember the Eighties when it was anorexia? Look at women in the public eye today who look like they need some meat on their bones. I wonder what kind of obsessive compulsive generation they are raising.
The Charnstar - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Just checked out that news report. Wow, my high school (In Australia) had banned SELLING sugary things, but most people just ditched during lunch to get there sugar fix... If we were caught with sugar they wouldn't care... But a week detention? Wow... Great parody raising important meaningful messages! 5s
John Barry - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
JRs are toxic, but the parody's not.
Old Man Ribber - May 15, 2010 - Report this comment
If it had been drugs, the media and A.C.L.U. would be defending her. Good song. ;D

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