How easy did she go down?
I'm not sure how she can stand.
I should have stayed back at home.
I should have missed that big party, man.

You know, I can't hold her forever.
She's wider than me or you.
She's not a present that's so hard to open
but still her boyfriends are singing
the blue-ue-ues...
Oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh...

Oh, oh my, oh hell, her legs bowed.
Through them, dogs like St. Bernards can prowl.
She can't fit through doors in my house.
Her orthopedists disavow.

Back is so straight, and her hooters look good.
But her legs could straddle a road.

Oh, I've finally decided no future here
because this girl, her legs bow-ow-owed!
Oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh...
Ahhhh...

What do you think I'll do now?
Her face so gorgeous, not plain.
But I'll need me a dozen of vodker and tonics
to make her look real good again.

Maybe I'll get a replacement.
There's plenty hot girls in this town.
Mongrels, but nice and top-heavy
whose legs don't look like crescent moons
on the grou-ou-ound...
Oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh...

But, oh my, oh hell, her legs bowed.
Through them, dogs like St. Bernards can prowl.
She can't fit through doors in my house.
Her orthopedists disavow.

Back is so straight, and her hooters look good.
But her legs could straddle a road.

Oh, I've finally decided no future here
because this girl, her legs bow-ow-owed!
Oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh...
Ahhhh...