He was a "kitty-whipped" man
He was pitifully beaten, and she was permanently hefty
She sent him out, for more pizza she'd eaten
She could stuff it all down quite deftly
She was really insatiable, huge appetite
They knew he was toothless, but boy, could she bite
They had one thing in common, they had gotten wed
She'd say, "Hurry hurry", "I am so hungry, Ted"

Wife is a fat pain
Surely, you can lose an arm, mm
You pity him so far?

Gluttony sinner, as chicken bones crunch
The coming of dinner, and breakfast and lunch
She knows all who deliver, she runs up the food bills
She eats up all his wages, and her dress shows the spills
She shows up at the deli, they close the place
They push three tables together, now she's taking up some space

Dining till morning, until the last bite
She was too fat too reach it
She was too fat to fight him for it

Wife is a fat pain
Just can't face that big behind
Wife is a fat pain
Anyplace she will dine
Wife is a fat pain, uh-huh
Munchin' and belchin', Jabba the Hutt
You could play miniature golf
On that seven-course butt

He said "Listen, baby, we're living on a shoestring
We've been up and down this buffet
And you haven't missed a thing"
He said "Call the waitress, I think you're almost full"
"The place is out of burgers, you ate the whole damn bull"
They went rushing to the poorhouse
She wasn't worth the cost
It wasn't just her youthful figure that was lost

And he said
Wife is a fat pain

Wife is a fat pain