Testin' autos
It's a good job for a dummy
Though it's hard on the tummy when walls you plow
Oh, I've a hard head
But it don't help goin' eighty
These new cars are so weighty when
The front end goes "pow"

And I sit here with my "wife" and "boy"
Just waitin' for the bashin'
I know my purpose here--prevent those broken bones
But it seems to me the one thing
To keep human beings from crashing
Is to keep the idiots off their cell phones

Testin' autos
Oh, what a web we have tangled
I'm lyin' here mangled, they're drivin' insane
And safety, no safety, well, not right now in this drivin'
Since I'm not alive I guess I won't feel that pain

Well, my feet are stuck in the wheel well
My eyes popped out of my noggin shell
My arms flew out the windows when they broke
I'm losing all my thighs and clothes
It's not funny, but those lab boys love to joke

Testin' autos
It's what this mannequin's made for
It's what I'd be paid for, had I a brain
No blood is drainin', but I just lost all my innards
I think this happened to Skynard, oh, that was a plane