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Song Parodies -> "Born to Choke"

Original Song Title:

"Born to Run"

Original Performer:

Bruce Springsteen

Parody Song Title:

"Born to Choke"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The Boston Red Sox haven't won the World Series since 1918, some say because soon thereafter they traded Babe Ruth, the greatest player in baseball history, to the New York Yankees, who became their arch-rivals. The team's shortfalls, often excruciating, occasionally brought about in a rather stupid fashion, have became known as the Curse of the Bambino. It would hurt Sox fans less if the Yankees hadn't won 26 World Series since the Sox last won. And while lots of teams' fans like to drink, I quote the Eagles (the band, not the Philadelphia football team): Some dance to remember, some dance to forget. The Cask 'n' Flagon is a bar across the street from Fenway Park. Commonwealth Avenue is nearby. Nomar Garciaparra is their best player, a slugging shortstop. Pedro Martinez is their great but fragile pitching ace. D.L. is Disabled List, not Dalai Lama or Down Low (though Nomar-is-gay jokes have been heard, he's been seen with soccer star Mia Hamm). The Green Monster is Fenway's 37-foot-high left field wall. The Massachusetts Turnpike is a short distance away from Fenway. General manager Dan Duquette, author of several bad trades, has since been fired. Eddie Andelman is Boston's biggest sports-radio personality, on WWZN "The Zone." Cape Cod is a beach-resort area. A ticker-tape parade is often given by a city to championship teams.
In the day we sweat it out on the streets
of a runaway World Series dream
At night we ride to the Cask 'n' Flagon
for Bailey's Irish cream.
Sprung from cages on Commonwealth Ave
chrome-wheeled, fuel-injected
and whinin' 'bout what we don't have.
Oh, baby this team rips the bones from your back
it's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get away from this joke
'Cause fans like us, baby we were born to choke!

Nomar, get a hit, I'm gonna have a fit
you know how hard it is to stay sober.
Just wrap your bat 'round that horsehide ball
and carry us through October!
Together we can break this Curse
we'll run 'til we drop and finally finish first!
Oh, can you stay off the D.L. for a while?
'Cause, Nomar, I'm scared about Pedro's shoulder
and I gotta know how it feels.
I wanna know if we got a chance
I wanna know if our chance is real?
Oh, can you show me?

Beyond the Monster, heavy-powered drones
scream down the Mass Turnpike.
Girls wanna see Duquette in their rearview mirrors
and the boys tell him, "Take a hike."
Eddie Andelman's talkin' on The Zone today
kids are huddled on the beach at the Cape.
I wanna die with you, baby, on the street one day
under mounds of ticker-tape!

The Fenway's jammed with broken heroes
on a last-chance pennant scheme.
The Yankees and their fans remind us we ain't
won since nineteen-eighteen.
Together, baby, we can live with the sadness
'cause rooting for the Sox is a madness of the soul.
Oh, someday, girl, I don't know when
we're gonna get to October and win the World Series
at least once before we croak
but 'til then, fans like us, baby we were born to choke!

84 years and counting.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
 4   2
 5   6

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