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Song Parodies -> "Turn to Paige"

Original Song Title:

"Turn the Page"

Original Performer:

Bob Seger

Parody Song Title:

"Turn to Paige"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Welcome to "Around the Horn," the show of competitive banter! Let's meet our national panel. At the Los Angeles Times, it's the Reverend Bill Plaschke. At the Dallas Morning News, it's Texas Tim Cowlishaw. At the Chicago Sun-Times, it's Jay Mariotti. And, live, from New York, Cold Pizza and the Denver Post's Woody Paige! (Who's actually from Memphis, and really only 59 as I write this.)
On a long and silly Friday
I hear Cowlishaw
talkin' 'bout a NASCAR engine
moaning out its redneck song.
I can think about the woman
Danica Patrick can't go wrong.

But his microphone I'll be muting
just like I always do
when he's talked for sixty seconds
and his talking turns me blue.
And I give the mike to Woody Paige
who's age one hundred two.

Here I am... around the horn again.
There I am... up on the stage.
Here I go... call the old man again.
There I go... turn to Paige.

I hear Reverend Bill pontificate
'bout the way things ought to be.
I can feel his eyes upon me
interrupts Mariotti.
I just hope Jay won't be talking 'bout
the Cubs' long misery.

Woody is so old he played
in the Confederate Army band.
Says Woody, "Jay, who dresses you
a woman or a man?"
While Bill and Tim, they laugh it up
it's more than Jay can stand.

Here I am... around the horn again.
There I am... up on the stage.
Here I go... call the old man again.
There I go... turn to Paige.

Out there on ESPN
they seem so far away
when they talk about the Yanks and Sox
and if T.O.'s gonna play.
And I wonder, will I "Buy Or Sell"
Woody living one more day?

Later in the evening
as I lie awake in bed
and I run the show's tape back and forth
in the Showdown, Woody bled.
Because Mariotti beat him.
Now he goes out of his head.

Here I am... around the horn again!
There I am... up on the stage!
Here I go... call the old man again!
There I go... turn to Paige!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - September 30, 2005 - Report this comment
wonderful job...5s

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