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Song Parodies -> "Ponies Are My Life, Guys"

Original Song Title:

"No More Mr. Nice Guy"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Alice Cooper

Parody Song Title:

"Ponies Are My Life, Guys"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

...I think five years is enough of a break to assault y'all with ponies again. Especially since Matthias gave me the excuse...
I used to be such a mean, mean thing
'Til they got a hold of me
Those tiny horses, it may seem crazy
But I can't help but squee
They're makin' friends, gettin' into capers
Musical scenes
So neat, my bad mood is set to drown
In the treacle, see

Ponies are my life, guys
Ponies on my screen
Ponies are my life, guys
Cause they're so quick to grow glee

Some of my friends, they call me a faker
"Your fun's not real
Manly men can't enjoy cute things now"
Well, tough, that's how I feel

Ponies are my life, guys
Ponies ev'ry week
Ponies are my life, guys
Voice gets high-pitched when I squee

I watch, even if it takes all day
I can't stop, no lie (no lyin')
Pastel horses make me feel less worthless
Make me laugh and cry
Blame my own personal credo
For checkin' out hot shows
I won't dismiss 'em, might come to like 'em
Now I've a happy glow instilled

Ponies are my life, guys
Ponies, such a treat
Ponies are my life, guys
Aware that this ain't unique
Ponies are my life, guys (ponies are my life, guys)
Ponies, source of glee
Ponies are my life, guys (ponies are my life, guys)
No longer pissed for a week, week, week, hoo!

Alice Cooper is a shock rock band, right? Maybe it's just cause I've only heard three songs by 'em (this one, Clones (We're All) and School's Out), but where is the shock? Is the shock in the lack of shock? Or is it an entirely stage-based thing? Point is, Weird Al was in an episode of MLP, therefore my life is complete.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Matthias - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Wish you could have dropped some references to the show. This is a generic I’m happy because said thing makes me happy type of parody which isn’t out right hilarious. Plus Alice Cooper has some disturbing songs as well like one about dead babies and another about necrophilia... So pretty shocking I’d say.
Stuart McArthur - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
It's time for all pony lovers to unite and stand proud, conq - and this parody is an important first step. As Jerry Seinfeld said, "Why would a pony lover emigrate to a non-pony country. It makes no sense!" - 555
Agrimorfee - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
I'm with Matty, a tiny bit more research would have put this over the top. Alice Cooper started as a psychedelic band, then the lead singer (nee Vincent Furnier) kept the name (supposedly a witch found in a ouija board session) and branched out into "shock rock" in the 70s--the Marilyn Manson of his time, but more of a wicked sense of gallows humor rather than an abrasive, angst-ridden POV. Worth looking into (but his 80s-90s metal years is kinda weak by comparison).
Peter Andersson - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
I learned a lot about AC from this podcast that Tim Ferriss did with his early manager two years ago:

https://tim.blog/2016/09/07/shep-gordon/
Arch Vile - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
So what would be your view on the Equestria Girls spinoff series? 555's
CML - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
A lot of the "shock" lay in his performances; for example one thing he would do is stage a mock execution of himself by a fake guillotine. His lyrics really aren't that shocking
Peregrin - October 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Agree with Agri's comments, get yourself a dose of 70's Alice Cooper to see what he was really about. "Department of Youth" is one of my all-time faves. This OS is a beaut as well. Not too sure what is going on with the Ponies here, I must have been away too long. But I get the idea!
Meriadoc - November 02, 2018 - Report this comment
It's okay, I explained it to Peregrin. And he thinks _I_ live in a cave.... (roll eyes).

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