I can't choose a-a funny captio-ion
Somethin' funny-y just ain't ha-app'nin'
Though I try, really try, I can't find what to wri-ite
Can't think up jokes, not one damn joke

Shouldn't be this friggin' hard
Lots of memes out there from which to quote
Hate to be a borin' bore
Across my internet connection
Say I need priority correction
That might be so, quite so, so, so
Fame, fame, fa-ame is what I cra-ave

I try to ge-et LOL reactio-ions
From my choice o-of silly ca-aptions
Though I try, I just find that I write utter shi-ite
Big fan of jokes, but I can't joke

Whether LOLcats or simply
A pic-recap of a movie
I just can't be funny
And this is the internet, all of us live for jokes
Should be a breeze, in theory
But it's not, though, ain't so, so, so
"So lame, lame, la-ame"'s what comments sa-ay

I can't choose a-a funny captio-ion
Comedy ha-as failed to happen
Don't know why I can't write funny shite, though I try-y
Just can't write jokes, it's a big joke

I may seem like a whiny jerk
"Wangstin' about captions, he's a total twat"
But I tell you, it's my world
I gotta come up with somethin' amusin' ev'ry week
Writin' for the Onion ain't no breeze
That's the truth, bro, you know, know, know
Afraid, 'fraid, 'frai-aid I won't get pai-aid
Mind's got no jokes and I need jokes
Gotta think of funny captio-ions
Need funny captio-ions or my dumb ass is quite ripe for sacki-in'
And that would blow