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Song Parodies -> "Pay THIS Fer Gasoline, Man?"

Original Song Title:

"Mr. Tambourine Man"

Original Performer:

The Byrds

Parody Song Title:

"Pay THIS Fer Gasoline, Man?"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

( --- instrumental intro --- )

Pay THIS fer gasoline, man? --- guess again, you dweeb!
I'm not greedy, man, but ain't no way I'm going to ---

--- pay THIS fer gasoline, man! Hey, I'll pump for free!
In the steal-a-tank-full morning, I'll come bor-row-ing fuel

Make me pour a dripper from
Your cash-ingesting pump
Though I'm not a changeless chump
I still ain't no Donald Trump
This price is the highest yet
And I must admit,
I'm tempted to drive-off again

I'm ready to drive-off and stiff
Exxon for my self-serve
'Round that gas-pump I'll swerve
Disappear around that curve
My S.U.V. will go for it!

Pay THIS fer gasoline, man? --- not a chance, you dweeb!
My car's needy, and, will gain octane I've stolen, too!

Pay THIS fer gasoline, man? Hey, I'll pump for free!
In the steal-a-tank-full morning, my car's swal-low-ing fuel

Crunchy hippies love to drive
Their pinko hybrid cars
Wish they'd send them all to Mars
Let 'em stop by truckers' bars,
And meet Rocco, Vince, and Lars,
And us macho-men,
Will teach 'em all a thing or two!

I drive my muscle-wagon as
A method to disguise
And hide from other guys
My salami's tiny size
I'm just a gas-hole hooligan!

Hey, Mister Gasoline-Man! Hey, I pumped for free!
I was sleazy, and, I gained octane I stole from you!

Dis-as-ter blasted me, man! Diesel pump fooled me!
Got a stinkin' tank of fuel-oil --- I'm a car-filling fool !

( --- instrumental fade --- )

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 37

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   33

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent, though aren't diesel nozzles bigger so that one can't put them in a vehicle designed for gasoline?
Royce Miller - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
These shoes were made for walkin'...I enjoyed it, Johnny.
Johnny D - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Red Ant and Royce.

Red Ant --- I got the idea for this parody from a recent news story in which some bozos who were trying to steal gasoline actually managed to pump diesel fuel into a vehicle that uses gasoline:­on_fe_st/bungled_fuel_theft_1

(When pasting that link into your browser, Chucky's software might introduce a hyphen " - " dash-character that you'll need to manually remove from your browser's address-bar before the link will take you to the correct website.)

Here's a quote from that news story:

"Associated Press, Tue Aug 16, 2005 --- NAPPANEE, Ind. - The high cost of gasoline may have driven them to do it. Picking the wrong fuel pump cut short their getaway. Two men who tried to steal gasoline from a construction company instead filled the tank of their car with off-road-grade diesel fuel Sunday, police said. An employee of Beer & Slabaugh spotted the men on the company property near Nappanee, about 20 miles southeast of South Bend, as they were siphoning fuel out of the car's tank, Elkhart County deputies said. The two told the employee that a friend had put the wrong fuel into the tank and they were trying to empty it, deputies said. The employee noticed that the fuel was the distinctive red color of off-road diesel. He called deputies, who arrested McKinley Chase, 21, and Dajuan L. Lord, 19, both of Gary, on preliminary charges of felony. They acknowledged the theft by explaining their mistake and saying their car would not run." (all persons named by Associated Press in that news story are innocent, unless proven guilty in a court of law)
The Beer Man - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Beer and Slabaugh? Shouldn't that be Beer...and...Slobber LOL? Good parody. All 5's
Johnny D - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Beer Man.

Chucky's software apparently does put a hyphen " - " dash-character into that URL when you copy and paste it into your browser --- the part of the link that should be spelled "ap_on" appears after pasting as "ap_-on". After pasting, delete that " - " and then the link will work.
alvin rhodes - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day....excellent work here...5s plus
AFW - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody is a gas, Man! Tanks for the good read...
Paul Robinson - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, JD, I guzzled this one right up...Out here in the big city (LA, CA ) there's no way to do what your character does, though. It's all "Pay first, sucker"...I did see a couple places in my recent trip up North where that isn't the case still...but only a very few, and never near a Freeway or Highway entrance...15 gallons of points here, pumped 5 at a time...OH, yeah...really liked the "muscle-wagon" "tiny salami" and "gas-hole hooligan"
Red Ant - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny D.
Arwen - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job here, Johnny...=)
2Eagle - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent parody of a song from a time when gas and everything else cost a fraction of what it costs now.
Phil Alexander - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
This one was a gas, JD... nice idea for a parody, too.
Serafina - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Hehe...I think it's hilarious! I've seen $3-a-gallon (and higher) prices near where I live, but I didn't have to pay that much when I last filled my tank. (I think it was $2.73 per gallon or something.) However, it was still too much! Anyway I think this flows very well with the orginal, and I will give it a perfect 5-5-5 vote. Nice work.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job as always, Johnny. We Aussies are seeing... let's see *converts to gallons* about $4.75 a gallon. But as the Aussie dollar is currently US$0.755, that's about $3.60 a gallon. What are you bitchin' about?!
Dominic L. - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
loved it, but I always thought this song was by Bob Dylan?
Larry Hensley - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Really good one.
Johnny D - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, alvin, AFW, Paul, Arwen, 2Eagle, Philbo, Serafina, Luke, Dominic, and Larry.

Luke: "What am I bitchin' about?" What, I'm supposed to answer a question like that, from a saucy Aussie who's trying to fuel his own internal combustion with Premium Unleaded EmiLoctane Maple-Glaze?

Dominic: You are correct --- Bob Dylan wrote "Mr. Tambourine Man", but The Byrds recorded a cover of Dylan's original version --- The Byrds' version was shortened to fit the radio playlists of the time ( 1965 ), and the single, cut by studio musicians, with McGuinn on guitar and the group singing, had Dylan's lyrics, a guitar hook, chorus harmonies, and a rock rhythm section. You might notice that the guitar hook sounds like music by Johann Sebastian Bach, and that's no accident --- McGuinn added a Bach-like intro on his Rickenbacker 12-string guitar and changed the time signature to 4/4 time, like a Beatles' song.
Michael Pacholek - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Serve, swerve, curve... if I could give you a 6 for fighting the impulse to put the word "schwerve" in there, I would. Otherwise, a fantastic parody and maybe the title of the year.
John Jenkins - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I will be thinking about this parody when I depart for my 1,800 mile round trip automobile vacation tomorrow. It could be worse - gas prices in Europe are 2 or 3 times higher than ours. Well done, JD.
Johnny D - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, Michael and JJ.
nally - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I've looked at this one but haven't gotten a chance to vote/comment on it. Yeah, just about everywhere in southern California I see prices that are way higher than they should be. Anyway I have to agree with all the above people who commented; this was excellent. Here's another 5-5-5 vote for ya.
Johnny D - August 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, nally.
Ian - September 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Didn't understand whole thing...didn't really read indepth, percise. But, here, here...I applaud this man fer "stealing" his gasoline. It ain't stealing -- it's a very need, wanton act of civil disobedience. And I'm fed up the blantant "theft" the gov't is going on with at the pumps! We all need to "steal" some gas.... Fill up those tanks, large or small. Let's all do "the right thing." Filler-up...give me some gas for free, until some fool in senate or parliment decides to stop this foolish nonsense. I ain't rich like them; just like the average 'Joe', or more like the homeless guy living out his car. "Steal" gas until the bloody cost comes back down to sensible, reasonable levels again.
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Why do the first ones on the list always have be so damned good? It makes it so hard to be not judgmental on all the others. Darn you, Johnny D! :) 555
Robert J. Pagliaro - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I gather from Agrimorfee's comment that Johnny D is always first on the list. Nice job my friend. You have a way with words. Hearing it in Dylan's voice only enhances what is already a great write. bob
Arwen - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--still a good one, Johnny.
Adagio - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A really funny one, Johnny! 5's
EmiLoca - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - "steal-a-tank-full morning"...oh SHEESH! This is so great - I can already tell it's going to be a tough round this month.
Red Ant - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still excellent, and great rhymes and story.
Larry Hensley - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I still really like this one. Very entertaining parody about a funny news story.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) After hearing the OS, I see the fine matches to the original in the chorus lines. Unfortunately, most EmiLoctane is self-serve.
Peter Andersson - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - 5th gear and accelerating...
Claude Prez - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
The pump/ chump/ Trump triplet was my fave. Great stuff Johnny. - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Rocco, Vince, and Lars? Aren't those the Metallica guys?

Excellent work, Johnny Diesel. Lotsa great lyrical subs for the complex original's. And extra credit for "gas-hole."

By the way, is the "Ian" comment supposed to be a joke? If not, it's one of the lamest comments I've seen on the site recently (and there has been a plethora of lame comments on the site recently). Yeah, stealing stuff drives prices DOWN. Good luck with that, champ.
Adam Eccleshal - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent song. Loved the 2nd verse :-)
Rick C - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Johnny D-Lightful parody...555
Rex - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Awesome! One of my favorite Johnny D parodies, and that's saying something!
Tim Mayfield - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
'My car's swallowing fuel' has to be my fav line. 5's
Scathe - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is why I ride the bus.
Stuart McArthur - October 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I loved "In the steal-a-tank-full morning, I'll come bor-row-ing fuel " - that was a perfect match - the whole thing is brilliant - 555
Dee Range - October 02, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM. The only way this could possibly be better would be to do the complete Dylan version of the OS. I was hoping it wouldn't end.
Kristof Robertson - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) OMG, I'm so late!!! Wonderful parody, JD...and cngrats on the win!!
Agrimorfee - March 10, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 05) see above
Red Ant - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(2005 SOTY) See above and I agree with MP; this is title of the year.
Luke Brattoni - March 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY 2005) A fitting anthem for the year. This would be great for one of those Oscar bits or whatever where they go over the events of the past year. - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Gotta love John Stossel for pointing out that gasoline is a bargain (and is far cheaper per gallon than bottled water). But I love complaining about it as much as anyone.

I've read this probably five times now, Johnny BD, and it just gets better and better. TMGSTM (S for subs), and high-octane kudos for pump/chump/Trump and all your other triplets.
Mr. X - April 04, 2006 - Report this comment
Makes sense for right now...they're just about at that price again!

AUGUST 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH - April 09, 2006 - Report this comment
First Place,12779.0.html
John D. of Toronto Canada. - April 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Very good !!! We need more of these songs to protest rotten price gouging wherever it occurs. Keep up the good work. John D. from Toronto Canada.
Agrimorfee - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) 2 years later, it all still works.
Below Average Dave - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Woah. . .what do you say when a song has 32 comments already???? Well, good parody, can't say anything no one else hasn't already.
Red Ant - January 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-P) Unlike 90% of parodies written around news articles, this topic is still discussed today. I wonder what gas cost when TOS was written? See above!
Matthias - January 21, 2007 - Report this comment
This parody was a gas!!!
bobpiecheese - January 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3P) What Dave said. That's what's annoying with parodies with a lot of comments. It's hard not to repeat what someone's already said! Well done, Johnny!
Stuart McArthur - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) well, Rocco and Vince are pussycats, but Lars! (shudder) excellent JD-style parody, deserving of its SOTM gold, and see above
tomario - January 29, 2007 - Report this comment
"Their pinko hybrid cars"made me laugh !!! 555
Michael McVey - January 30, 2007 - Report this comment
5's just for the title on this one!!!---MM
Kristof Robertson - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3P) See above. One of your greats, JD. Glad to see it back again.
Arwen - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC...Gas has been back under 2.00 for the first time in a long I'm actually pretty psyched...but this is still funny stuff, JD!
Cat - January 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wow. What can I say except this had me laughing VERY hard.
Rex - July 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I've just reread this for the 555 time and thought I'd better leave a comment. This is gas-tastic! I laugh all the way through.
Johnny D - July 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Belated thanks to all who voted for this in SOTM, and less-belated thanks to Agrimorfee, Below Average Dave, Red Ant, Matthias, bobpiecheese, Stuart, tomario, Michael McVey, Kristof, Arwen, Cat, and Rex! You have all PUMPED .... ME UP ! ;-)

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