A HUMMER® is what you want for this, Christmas… I’d say
The payments are easy if you don’t mind having to pay
I’d like to get you into one of ‘em today
Gosh! only thirty days are left ‘til it’s Christmas

You might not get it to fit underneath your tree
Nonetheless, don’t you see yourself getting into forestry?
Still I’ll go out on a limb and risk my J-O-B
There’s ‘bout a hundred ways to roll your HUMMER®
Hundred ways to roll your HUMMER®


You just slip off a cliff, Biff
Ride on a ledge, Regge
You don’t have to have trails, Dale
Just crest that mountain steep
Get up on two wheels, Bill
Take your foot off the clutch, klutz
Just drop it in low, Joe
And trade in your Jeep®

Plooow! Into a bank, Hank
Forge a deep crick, Rick
Go drift into a burm, Sherm
Blaze a trail steep
Flip in the dirt, Kurt
It don’t need to be mud, stud
Just step on the gas, fast
And loose that old Jeep®


Santa is crying watching you go un-consoled
The dash on these models just might help to fill that empty hole
It could help navigate your next trip to the north pole
In about thirty days

I say, why don’t we both just take one for a spin
So you can see for yourself just what you have long been missin’
And then when you buy one you can do some cartwheelin’
There’s ‘bout a hundred ways to roll your HUMMER®
Hundred ways to roll your HUMMER®


Just run into a ditch, Rich
Hit a few rocks, Brock
You don’t need to be in rain, Jane
You could fall asleep
Let’s see you flip, Chip
You don’t need to use brakes, Jake
Just drop off the Earth, Merth
And trade in your Jeep®

Dive into a stream, Dean
Hit a huge moose, Bruce
You don’t have to be safe, Dave
Don’t look where you leap
Drive like you’re mad, Chad
You don’t need to go slow, Flo
Just put it in gear, dear
And loose that old Jeep®